The dumbest Stuff or Herald headlines (& other news media)

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#1947211 26-Jan-2018 15:31

"Dark Souls Remastered Release Date & New Feature Rumours"

It proceeds to list the officially-announced release date and officially-announced new features, and doesn't list a single feature rumour.

tdgeek

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#1947792 28-Jan-2018 10:18

Article on Federer

OPINION: The Australian Open promises a magical final on Sunday night between Roger Federer, the 360-year-old wizard,

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/opinion/100946347/mark-reason-roger-federer-survives-in-the-tournament-that-the-heat-killed

DarthKermit

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#1947891 28-Jan-2018 16:25

Forestry workers in danger

Forestry workers are 15 times more likely to be harmed at work than the average worker - but from what?

I'm guessing that it's most likely stinging nettles.

Rikkitic

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#1947902 28-Jan-2018 17:41

My Mainland cheese says it has 50% less salt. So is that …

50% less than it used to have? Hell, people, were you trying to poison me before?
50% less than your CEO sprinkles on his peas?
50% less than it takes to slime a slug?
50% less than Roman soldiers were paid?
50% less than the amount required to kill me? See above.
50% less than it takes to catch a bird?
50% less than you would like to rub in my wound?
50% less than Abimelech used to sow Shechem with?

If there is 50% less now, then there was 50% more before. That is a lot of salt. At least half as much. Am I being cheated?

I want my salt back.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

Behodar

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#1947903 28-Jan-2018 17:43

Rikkitic: If there is 50% less now, then there was 50% more before.

There was 100% more before.

If you had 100 "units" of salt before, removing 50% took you down to 50 units. Adding 50% would only take you back up to 75 units.

Rikkitic

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#1947907 28-Jan-2018 17:51

I still want it back.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

geoffwnz

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#1947908 28-Jan-2018 17:51

DarthKermit: Forestry workers in danger

Forestry workers are 15 times more likely to be harmed at work than the average worker - but from what?

I'm guessing that it's most likely stinging nettles.

Paper cuts obviously. Really big paper they play with.

MotorDrive Rallying

kiwiharry

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#1948015 29-Jan-2018 08:40

I often get this type of thing from the NZ Herald.

The short description is totally irrelevant or not related to the headline. Like this.

If you can't laugh at yourself then you probably shouldn't laugh at others.

Fred99

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#1948016 29-Jan-2018 08:50

Oh dear - that truly is sad - on so many levels.

Geektastic

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#1948278 29-Jan-2018 19:17

Live - how hot is it where you are?

Geektastic

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#1948279 29-Jan-2018 19:17

Rikkitic:

My Mainland cheese says it has 50% less salt. So is that …

50% less than it used to have? Hell, people, were you trying to poison me before?
50% less than your CEO sprinkles on his peas?
50% less than it takes to slime a slug?
50% less than Roman soldiers were paid?
50% less than the amount required to kill me? See above.
50% less than it takes to catch a bird?
50% less than you would like to rub in my wound?
50% less than Abimelech used to sow Shechem with?

If there is 50% less now, then there was 50% more before. That is a lot of salt. At least half as much. Am I being cheated?

I want my salt back.

Up there with Steinlager Pure.

The implication being that any other version of Steinlager...isn't pure...

Geektastic

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#1948280 29-Jan-2018 19:19

kiwiharry: I often get this type of thing from the NZ Herald.

The short description is totally irrelevant or not related to the headline. Like this.

Lies. As a child, I would not have eaten one thing in that lunch box. Neither would I do so now.

Rikkitic

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#1948281 29-Jan-2018 19:25

Geektastic:

Up there with Steinlager Pure.

The implication being that any other version of Steinlager...isn't pure...

Same with New! Improved! I have been waiting all my life for packaging that says Old! Unimproved! If I ever see one I will buy it, no matter what it is.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

Geektastic

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#1948379 30-Jan-2018 00:01

Rikkitic:

Geektastic:

Up there with Steinlager Pure.

The implication being that any other version of Steinlager...isn't pure...

Same with New! Improved! I have been waiting all my life for packaging that says Old! Unimproved! If I ever see one I will buy it, no matter what it is.

The lager one is interesting though.

Steinlager Contaminated?

Steinlager Dirty?

Steinlager Impure?

The opposites of the Pure branding are all very unpleasant. Why would you do that to your label?!

SepticSceptic

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#1948423 30-Jan-2018 09:40

Rikkitic:

My Mainland cheese says it has 50% less salt. So is that …

50% less than it used to have? Hell, people, were you trying to poison me before?
50% less than your CEO sprinkles on his peas?
50% less than it takes to slime a slug?
50% less than Roman soldiers were paid?
50% less than the amount required to kill me? See above.
50% less than it takes to catch a bird?
50% less than you would like to rub in my wound?
50% less than Abimelech used to sow Shechem with?

If there is 50% less now, then there was 50% more before. That is a lot of salt. At least half as much. Am I being cheated?

I want my salt back.

I always endeavour to purchase full salt / full fat products.

I want my money's worth. Even worse, there are products that cost more BECAUSE they are less salt / less fat.

WTF ? Paying more for less ?

Besides, most "less salt/ less fat" food products are front loaded with sugar.

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