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deepred
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  #3456718 28-Jan-2026 16:27
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News: Police in Detroit are questioning 3 suspects spotted in a Yugo 45, in what is believed to be the city's first push-by incident.





"I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce." — J. Edgar Hoover

"Create a society that values material things above all else. Strip it of industry. Raise taxes for the poor and reduce them for the rich and for corporations. Prop up failed financial institutions with public money. Ask for more tax, while vastly reducing public services. Put adverts everywhere, regardless of people's ability to afford the things they advertise. Allow the cost of food and housing to eclipse people's ability to pay for them. Light blue touch paper." — Andrew Maxwell


eracode
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  #3459327 6-Feb-2026 12:30
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Celine Dion has come out in support of protesting farmers by removing all the consonants from her name.





Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.


gzt

gzt
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#3459336 6-Feb-2026 13:18
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That's fake news. Dion is supporting a well known fast food outlet.

Tinkerisk
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  #3459376 6-Feb-2026 18:19
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"It’s your birthday coming up and I still don’t have any idea what to buy you. Have you any suggestions?"

 

"I want a divorce!"

 

"I’m terribly sorry, dear, but I wasn’t planning on spending that much!"





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floydbloke
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  #3460304 10-Feb-2026 18:57
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A thief tried to steal the paintings at the Louvre in Paris. He was caught two blocks away when he ran out of gas. He said: I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried because I had nothing Toulouse.





Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.


floydbloke
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  #3465268 26-Feb-2026 20:02
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Scientists were finally able to weigh a rainbow. Turns out it was pretty light.





Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.


eracode
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  #3468651 11-Mar-2026 09:05
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Surprised to hear people in Dubai don’t think that this war’s effect on oil will lead to powering our cars like the Flintstones did.

 

But people in Abu Dhabi do





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Behodar
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  #3468747 11-Mar-2026 12:26
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Did you vote for this locally, or did the government just decided to cede control of the area to giant fruit flies unilaterally?


SaltyNZ
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  #3468782 11-Mar-2026 13:15
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Behodar:

 

 

Did you vote for this locally, or did the government just decided to cede control of the area to giant fruit flies unilaterally?

 

 

 

 

I, for one, welcome our new Fruit Fly overlords.





iPad Pro 11" + iPhone 15 Pro Max + 2degrees 4tw!

 

These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.


eracode
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  #3471400 18-Mar-2026 16:06
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I once broke up with a girl because she wouldn’t stop counting.

 

I wonder what she’s up to now.





Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.


MadEngineer
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  #3471540 18-Mar-2026 17:43
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Has anyone met this guy called Moderation?  Must be a top bloke ’cause people keep telling me I should drink with him. 





You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

Tinkerisk
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  #3476592 1-Apr-2026 14:19
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I don't believe in conspiracy theories, only in real conspiracies. And that's not a silly joke. 😁





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floydbloke
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  #3477751 3-Apr-2026 19:44
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Julius Caesar and Marcus Brutus are at the airport:

 

Brutus: "Which is our gate Caesar?"

 

Caesar: "A2 Brutus"

 

 

 

Brutus: " And what time is our flight?"

 

Caesar: "8:02 Brutus."

 

 

 

Brutus: "By the way, I brought sandwiches.  Do you want one?"

 

Caesar: "Ate two Brutus."

 

 

 

Brutus: "Look at the size of our boarding passes, they're huge"

 

Caesar: "A2 Brutus"

 

 

 

Brutus, thinking to himself: "This guy is really getting on my tits, one of these days I'm going to have to kill him."





Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.


eracode
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  #3477806 4-Apr-2026 09:03
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This year I gave up using spreadsheets for 40 days.

 

It was excellent.

 

Last year I had to give up using spreadsheets because I had cellulitis.





Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit.


networkn
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  #3478895 7-Apr-2026 18:44
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I am Buzz Aldren. I was the second Man to Walk on the Moon. 

 

Neal before me. 

 

 


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