TRUMP SAYS HE WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER PRINCESS THAN MEGHAN MARKLE

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Donald J. Trump raised eyebrows on both sides of the Atlantic on Saturday by claiming that he would be a “much better princess” than Meghan Markle.

Calling the Duchess of Sussex “a nasty woman,” Trump said, “If I were a princess, I would not be nasty. People would say, ‘Donald Trump is the nicest princess.’ ”

Trump added that “all a princess has to do is sit on a throne, and I would be very good at that also.”

“I sit between ten and twelve hours a day, minimum,” he said.

Finally, Trump said that, as Princess, he would do “a way better job at waving at people than Nasty Meghan does.”

“Meghan Markle’s waving is a disgrace,” he said. “I have the best waves.”