
TRUMP DEMANDS MORE SHARPIES BEFORE HE'LL RELEASE UKRAINE PHONE TRANSCRIPT
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—An angry Donald J. Trump ordered a dozen new Sharpies before releasing a transcript of his phone conversation with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.
Trump was incensed after he discovered that aides had not replenished his supply after he used his last pen to divert the path of Hurricane Dorian.
In New York for the United Nations General Assembly, Vice-President Mike Pence scoured stationery stores in midtown Manhattan to find the precious Sharpies, but came up empty.
While the quest for Sharpies continues, an aide insisted that the situation was under control. "We found a bunch of Chinese knock-offs in Walmart. He won't know the difference."







