The dumbest Stuff or Herald headlines (& other news media)

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#2429176 29-Feb-2020 10:46

Generally fed up with

“What you need to know”

“What happened when we”

“What the Internet said about”

“Why you need to”

Also top prize to Stuff today for this masthead headline:

Virus: Man self-isolates

Behodar

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#2429177 29-Feb-2020 10:46

Don't forget "you've been doing X wrong"!

freitasm

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#2429186 29-Feb-2020 11:26

More than 20 articles on $50 million lotto draw, after a week of more than 20 articles on $30 million lotto draw - how to use the money, how to tell others, how much interest per month you would get, what other have done, repeat again and again.

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#2429197 29-Feb-2020 12:18

FineWine:

Had an online chat just now:

Me: after approximately a minutes usage in landscape mode it rotates to portrait mode and will not revert. You have to restart the app. So it is not holding the selected rotation.

CCC: We have been advised of a bug issue with the rotation on some of our users Apps, this has been addressed with our Technical Team who are working on an immediate fix.

Who's CCC?

Technofreak

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#2429206 29-Feb-2020 12:36

Geektastic: Generally fed up with

“What you need to know”

“What happened when we”

“What the Internet said about”

“Why you need to”

Agree, though they serve one purpose for me. It saves me time as I know they are articles that are not worth clicking on to read.

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#2429217 29-Feb-2020 13:07

quickymart:

FineWine:

Had an online chat just now:

Me: after approximately a minutes usage in landscape mode it rotates to portrait mode and will not revert. You have to restart the app. So it is not holding the selected rotation.

CCC: We have been advised of a bug issue with the rotation on some of our users Apps, this has been addressed with our Technical Team who are working on an immediate fix.

Who's CCC?

Customer Call Centre - She actually had an Anglo Christian name and an unpronounceable Indian surname.

Whilst the difficult we can do immediately, the impossible takes a bit longer. However, miracles you will have to wait for.

RunningMan

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#2429372 29-Feb-2020 18:48

Don’t panic’ – Health officials call for claim over coronavirus case

Geektastic

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#2429814 1-Mar-2020 21:28

Some useful reporting today from Stuff:

“The woman suffered facial injuries.

It was not clear how bad they were.

Police were looking for the attacker but did not immediately have a description.”

Behodar

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#2429817 1-Mar-2020 21:32

'Something happened. We know nothing about it, but have elected to write an "article" anyway.'

Dratsab

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#2429818 1-Mar-2020 21:38

Behodar: 'Something happened. We know nothing about it, but have elected to write an "article" anyway.'

And TV news will have someone standing outside parliament/police station/hospital no matter what the time of day, whether or not those buildings are pertinent to the story.

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#2429846 2-Mar-2020 00:08

Behodar:

'Something happened. We know nothing about it, but have elected to write an "article" anyway.'

It reminds me of a sketch from Spitting Image many years ago.

Trevor MacDonald was reading the news and it went something like

"Someone famous...has died.

We don't yet know who it is.

The scheduled episode of Quincy after the news has been postponed to show a tribute to the dead star. Unless of course it was Quincy who died."

Journeyman

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#2429851 2-Mar-2020 05:34

I just can't tell if the Herald is trying to be funny or...?

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#2429857 2-Mar-2020 07:16

Dratsab:

Behodar: 'Something happened. We know nothing about it, but have elected to write an "article" anyway.'

And TV news will have someone standing outside parliament/police station/hospital no matter what the time of day, whether or not those buildings are pertinent to the story.

"And now in this breaking news we'll cross to Laura Dweebnurst who's live on the site. What can you tell us Laura?"

"Well, Marcus, there's a tarpaulin covering something which we think may be a critical piece of evidence, and many cars have come and gone all day. The tarpaulin looks to have been purchased recently at the Warehouse, or possibly Repco. Clearly some major incident has happened".

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#2429917 2-Mar-2020 10:20

"Good evening. Welcome to the news in New Zealand the land Where Nothing Actually Happens. We could do this news as a weekly half-hour round-up, but we would rather try and seem like we are important by screening the 'news' many times a day as if it is a fast-paced and dynamic environment.

Meanwhile, in Balclutha, Mrs Raelene Mahoney was shocked - shocked I tell you - when she realised that her local Countdown had over-charged her 2 cents for a banana. Won't somebody think of the poor children! We cross now to Marlene Harris in Balclutha for the latest on this developing story."

freitasm

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#2432178 3-Mar-2020 22:51

"Flying Auckland to Wellington with Air New Zealand - flight check"

NZ513 was actually Auckland to Christchurch. Last time this flight existed was three years ago. And this is a paywall article... So who pays for this "quality journalism"?

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