Silly joke thread

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58 posts

Master Geek

#2587193 18-Oct-2020 19:08

Father: So you hit another boy at school today
Son: Yes
Father: Where did you hit him
Son: In the playground
Father: Oh dear, I bet that hurt

SaltyNZ

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#2587345 19-Oct-2020 07:40

Two nuns are driving their car through Transylvania, when an apparition of Dracula appears on the bonnet. The nun driving says, 'Quick! Show him your cross! Show him your cross!'

The other nun rolls down the window, leans out, and screams 'Get off my f***ing car you bastard!'

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BlueShift

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#2589882 21-Oct-2020 16:20

Have you notice that the drivers at Bathurst always put their seats back as far as they'll go?

Its because they like more KNEEEEROOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

Rikkitic

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#2592897 28-Oct-2020 20:29

How to make a sausage roll:

Place it at the top of a hill and let go.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

Fred99

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#2614913 2-Dec-2020 19:14

Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

A: Because they're so good at it

jpoc

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#2625200 22-Dec-2020 07:37

I am confused.

They say that there are no community cases right now but how come they had to put Ruapehu into level 2?

frankv

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#2625208 22-Dec-2020 07:57

jpoc:

I am confused.

They say that there are no community cases right now but how come they had to put Ruapehu into level 2?

It's got a temperature and perhaps developing a cough.

networkn

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#2625209 22-Dec-2020 07:59

frankv:

jpoc:

I am confused.

They say that there are no community cases right now but how come they had to put Ruapehu into level 2?

It's got a temperature and perhaps developing a cough.

Nice.

We should swab it, anyone have a sheep handy ?

SaltyNZ

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#2625294 22-Dec-2020 09:43

networkn:

frankv:

It's got a temperature and perhaps developing a cough.

Nice.

We should swab it, anyone have a sheep handy ?

And of course you would ask at Christmas time. Baaa humbug!

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Geektastic

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#2625439 22-Dec-2020 12:19

“Hello. Doctor Harris? I had a call that my friend is in your surgery because he fell off the roof and landed on a Christmas tree. Is it bad?”

“Well... I’m a proctologist, so...”

Geektastic

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#2625693 23-Dec-2020 07:48

SaltyNZ:
And of course you would ask at Christmas time. Baaa humbug!

God rest ewe merry gentlemen.

networkn

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#2626694 25-Dec-2020 12:37

Dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening, and holiday like the chief medical officer will read your itinerary on the mid day briefing!

jpoc

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#2636372 16-Jan-2021 09:28

I dug out an old iPhone and charged it up.

Then, at work, I snuck into the staff kitchen, popped it into the microwave, shut the oven door and left without turning the oven on.

I waited until a work mate went to use the microwave and he called out that somebody had left a phone in there.

I ran over and picked it up shouting out "sorry, I forgot."

I turned it on and showed it to him.

"Look, it works, fully charged!"

MyFriendAutism

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#2639869 21-Jan-2021 21:45

I recently taught my daughter to ride her bike without training wheels. She smiled SO BIG when she pedaled away from me and the safety of my arms. She was free. She accomplished it. I will never forget the look in her eyes when she proudly told me "If mom didn't die from heroin, she could have seen me do it!"

jpoc

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#2640570 23-Jan-2021 11:58

I picked up an infection from social media.

I've got so many followers, I'm an Instagram influenza!

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