Huge Fuss, didn't even make it a year.

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#1091117 17-Jul-2014 23:36

networkn: My opinion is that they got married "because they could" (A very very poor reason). They got a bunch of stuff for being "first". Clearly the commitment wasn't really present to undertake something that deserved better.

Most marriages last better than a year, most people would try and save a marriage for longer than that.

Baseless speculation. You have no idea about their relationship or circumstances. I don't think you or anyone else without first hand knowledge of the situation can draw any meaningful inferences from their possible separation.

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#1091119 17-Jul-2014 23:42

NZtechfreak:
networkn: My opinion is that they got married "because they could" (A very very poor reason). They got a bunch of stuff for being "first". Clearly the commitment wasn't really present to undertake something that deserved better.

Most marriages last better than a year, most people would try and save a marriage for longer than that.

Baseless speculation. You have no idea about their relationship or circumstances. I don't think you or anyone else without first hand knowledge of the situation can draw any meaningful inferences from their possible separation.

I don't think it's baseless. I can't think of a single decent reason for a marriage to end in under a year. Also I recall them being interviewed on whatever radio station I was listening to on the way to work, it was all about being first, little or nothing I can recall about
love and commitment.

freitasm

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#1091160 18-Jul-2014 07:51

networkn: My opinion is that they got married "because they could" (A very very poor reason). They got a bunch of stuff for being "first". Clearly the commitment wasn't really present to undertake something that deserved better.

My opinion is that some folks are acting like dicks, breaking Wheaton's Law.

They owe you nothing.

Lyderies

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#1091168 18-Jul-2014 08:15

networkn: I don't think it's baseless. I can't think of a single decent reason for a marriage to end in under a year. Also I recall them being interviewed on whatever radio station I was listening to on the way to work, it was all about being first, little or nothing I can recall about
love and commitment.

Question: Am i forming an opinion you may be against gay couples?

I'm going to noob myself past judgement

Dratsab

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#1091182 18-Jul-2014 08:51

networkn: That's my point, they married because they could (for the sake of it) not because they should/wanted too.

networkn: It would take a lot to convince me that these guys didn't just do it for the sake of it.

networkn: My opinion is that they got married "because they could" (A very very poor reason). They got a bunch of stuff for being "first". Clearly the commitment wasn't really present to undertake something that deserved better.

Did you read the article which you seem to have based your entire premise on or just the headline?

NZ Herald: Ms Vitali said at the time that she had proposed to Ms Ray a year earlier and they had an engagement party in November 2012, but had not set a date for what would then have been a civil union because of the cost.

networkn: Also I recall them being interviewed on whatever radio station I was listening to on the way to work, it was all about being first, little or nothing I can recall about love and commitment.

Selective memory.

tardtasticx

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#1091205 18-Jul-2014 10:09

I'll post the same thing that I did to some comments from idiots on the NZ Herald Facebook page:

http://www.stats.govt.nz/browse_for_stats/population/mythbusters/marriages-end-divorce.aspx

Based on info from November 2006 (Prior to equal marriage being legalised), there were 20,000 marriages, and 10,000 divorces that year alone!

So I'm pretty sure your spiel about increasing the divorce rate and what not is complete crap. We have a VERY long way to go before same sex couples even come close to hurting the so called sanctity of marriage. Move along.

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#1091210 18-Jul-2014 10:20

I never meant that Gay marriage would increase the percentage of divorces amongst everyone, just that, like hetero marriage, a proportion will end in divorce - and I would be surprised if the rate of Gay marriages ending in divorce is significantly different to hetero marriages ending in divorce.

Some marriages (regardless of the sexuality of the participants) just don't work - and I'd say lots of them end in less than a year. I can sort of see why the Herald jumped on this one (it was in the public eye there for a day or two :/), I just don't see it as a big deal. I'd bet that since these two got married, other people who have got married (both gay and hetero) have also split.

Move along, nothing to see here.

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#1091229 18-Jul-2014 10:46

networkn:
MrMistofeles: Pointless discussion - marriage is legal construct, if there is any meaning beyond that it is purely up to the individuals.

Who cares if shiny things made the couple overzealous - people have been marrying for stuff (visas, politics, dowries, etc.) for thousands of years.

Opinions about the 'sanctity' or 'commitment' of marriage are just that - opinions.

Did I give any indications that my comments were anything other than my opinion? 90% of what you would find on any forum, geekzone being no exception, are opinions.

You did not - and I often appreciate your opinions on here.

But fatuous topics like this should expect an amount of derision i.e. if you want to tell people your favorite color is blue then do it on social media

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#1091238 18-Jul-2014 11:12

trig42: I never meant that Gay marriage would increase the percentage of divorces amongst everyone, just that, like hetero marriage, a proportion will end in divorce - and I would be surprised if the rate of Gay marriages ending in divorce is significantly different to hetero marriages ending in divorce.

Hmm, well:

trig42: I saw someone say in the 'debate' leading up to the decision to change the law that Gay Marriages would increase the divorce rate. True that.

Divorce rate represents all marriages, just FYI.

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#1091269 18-Jul-2014 11:18

tardtasticx:
trig42: I never meant that Gay marriage would increase the percentage of divorces amongst everyone, just that, like hetero marriage, a proportion will end in divorce - and I would be surprised if the rate of Gay marriages ending in divorce is significantly different to hetero marriages ending in divorce.

Hmm, well:

trig42: I saw someone say in the 'debate' leading up to the decision to change the law that Gay Marriages would increase the divorce rate. True that.

Divorce rate represents all marriages, just FYI.

Yes, I know what I wrote. Thanks for that. I then said that was not what I meant. What I meant to say (and I cannot go back and edit it) is that the more people getting married, the more will get divorced. It will not increase (or decrease for that matter) the proportion of marriages that end up in divorce.

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#1091342 18-Jul-2014 12:16

networkn:
I don't think it's baseless. I can't think of a single decent reason for a marriage to end in under a year. Also I recall them being interviewed on whatever radio station I was listening to on the way to work, it was all about being first, little or nothing I can recall about love and commitment.

I know heaps of people whose marriages have ended after about a year. People get married thinking it means things will change or improve, and when they find they've been living to a false expectation they have to face reality and move on. For women there can be the added dimension that the man really isn't what they want as the father of there children.

It's not an expectation that's limited to the couple. I got married this year and people have asked me constantly since "how is marriage" and I answer "the same as before but I have this ring". I'm always a little bit surprised that people have an expectation that my life has suddenly changed.

The Herald writes articles based on people's Facebook pages, Stuff writes articles about people's comments on it's [non] news articles. All you do by raising it here is legitimise their idiocy. Well that's my reading of why people are getting grumpy with you.

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#1091343 18-Jul-2014 12:18

Pays to remember here that there is nothing to say they have actually divorced. They may have seperated, but who says they wont reconcile?

I know a couple of couples who separated within the first year of marriage. One ended up legally divorced after a couple of years of separation. The other got back together and worked things out.

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#1091353 18-Jul-2014 12:37

Glassboy:
networkn:
I don't think it's baseless. I can't think of a single decent reason for a marriage to end in under a year. Also I recall them being interviewed on whatever radio station I was listening to on the way to work, it was all about being first, little or nothing I can recall about love and commitment.

I know heaps of people whose marriages have ended after about a year. People get married thinking it means things will change or improve, and when they find they've been living to a false expectation they have to face reality and move on. For women there can be the added dimension that the man really isn't what they want as the father of there children.

It's not an expectation that's limited to the couple. I got married this year and people have asked me constantly since "how is marriage" and I answer "the same as before but I have this ring". I'm always a little bit surprised that people have an expectation that my life has suddenly changed.

The Herald writes articles based on people's Facebook pages, Stuff writes articles about people's comments on it's [non] news articles. All you do by raising it here is legitimise their idiocy. Well that's my reading of why people are getting grumpy with you.

None of those reasons are "decent" reasons for a marriage to fail after less than a year.

Thing is, people are so sensitive right now about homosexuality and no-one dare suggest/suggest/infer anything bad about them. Had I have made the same comments about a Celebrity couple, everyone would have been on the bandwagon rah rah attention seeking prats blah blah.

Fair enough the facts may not be fully in, I'll accept my part in that, but people need some perspective on the other side of this too.

I've requested the topic be locked or removed since it seems to have everyone so hot under the collar.

tardtasticx

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#1091358 18-Jul-2014 12:42

networkn:
Glassboy:
networkn:
I don't think it's baseless. I can't think of a single decent reason for a marriage to end in under a year. Also I recall them being interviewed on whatever radio station I was listening to on the way to work, it was all about being first, little or nothing I can recall about love and commitment.

I know heaps of people whose marriages have ended after about a year. People get married thinking it means things will change or improve, and when they find they've been living to a false expectation they have to face reality and move on. For women there can be the added dimension that the man really isn't what they want as the father of there children.

It's not an expectation that's limited to the couple. I got married this year and people have asked me constantly since "how is marriage" and I answer "the same as before but I have this ring". I'm always a little bit surprised that people have an expectation that my life has suddenly changed.

The Herald writes articles based on people's Facebook pages, Stuff writes articles about people's comments on it's [non] news articles. All you do by raising it here is legitimise their idiocy. Well that's my reading of why people are getting grumpy with you.

None of those reasons are "decent" reasons for a marriage to fail after less than a year.

Thing is, people are so sensitive right now about homosexuality and no-one dare suggest/suggest/infer anything bad about them. Had I have made the same comments about a Celebrity couple, everyone would have been on the bandwagon rah rah attention seeking prats blah blah.

Fair enough the facts may not be fully in, I'll accept my part in that, but people need some perspective on the other side of this too.

I've requested the topic be locked or removed since it seems to have everyone so hot under the collar.

People arent annoyed that it's because it's a same sex couple, people are annoyed because the Herald has no right to publish stuff that's got no factual reasoning, and people are then using it to say crap about how this is the start of the downfall of marriage, I told you so blah blah, just like they did before it was legalised.

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#1091361 18-Jul-2014 12:46

networkn: None of those reasons are "decent" reasons for a marriage to fail after less than a year.

Who are you to decide what is a decent reason for anyone but yourself?

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