Silly joke thread

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Networkn
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#3302139 27-Oct-2024 18:10

I went to the Doctor and I told him I was having hearing issues.

He asked me to tell him about the symptoms.

I told him that Marge was the one with the big blue hair and Homer was the fat one.

networkn

Networkn
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#3302140 27-Oct-2024 18:12

I met a lovely young lady at a bar last night. She told me she would show me a good time.

She stepped outside and ran an 11 second 100 meter sprint

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#3302666 29-Oct-2024 12:01

How do you start a fairy tale in the modern era?

"If elected, I promise..."

MadEngineer

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#3303584 31-Oct-2024 09:49

Have y’all seen the movie “Constipation”?

Neither have I - it hasn’t come out yet.

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

SaltyNZ

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#3303644 31-Oct-2024 10:23

MadEngineer: Have y’all seen the movie “Constipation”?

Neither have I - it hasn’t come out yet.

Groan ... [deep breath, deep breath] ... groooooan

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MadEngineer

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#3303666 31-Oct-2024 11:16

I have to admit, it’s a bit of a poop joke.

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

networkn

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#3303967 1-Nov-2024 07:50

What should you drink on Haloween?

Boo's.

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#3305453 5-Nov-2024 08:38

A young American tourist goes on a guided tour of a creepy old castle. At the end of the tour, the guide asks her how she enjoyed it. She admits to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark, cob-web filled, rooms and passages.

"Don't worry," says the guide. "I've never seen a ghost all the time I've been here."

"How long is that?" asks the girl.

"About three hundred years."

Behodar

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#3306531 7-Nov-2024 10:18

Why do so many people strike up a conversation with "Are you even listening?"

Eva888

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#3306579 7-Nov-2024 12:15

Behodar:

Why do so many people strike up a conversation with "Are you even listening?"

You are obviously married.

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#3306581 7-Nov-2024 12:30

Eva888:

Behodar:

Why do so many people strike up a conversation with "Are you even listening?"

You are obviously married.

You can't assume that! A married man would quickly suspend their inner fantasy about flying an F-18, scoring the winning try in a rugby test against the Wallabies or catching a 30kg snapper (as appropriate) and respond with "Yes, of course I am. You said: '[quotes last three sentences]'".

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#3307007 8-Nov-2024 16:55

Interviewer: Tell us about some accomplishments in your last job.
Me: I'm personally responsible for several new rules in the employee handbook.
Interviewer: Impressive! You wrote them?
Me: That's not what I said.

Did Eric Clapton really think she looked wonderful...or was it after the 15th outfit she tried on and he just wanted to get to the party and get a drink?

floydbloke

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#3307840 11-Nov-2024 19:46

Mate of mine just quit his job at BMW.

He'd given them no indication he was leaving.

Did Eric Clapton really think she looked wonderful...or was it after the 15th outfit she tried on and he just wanted to get to the party and get a drink?

RunningMan

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#3307844 11-Nov-2024 19:52

Indicators are now an annual subscription service on BMWs - I don't think many people pay to have them 😉

MadEngineer

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#3309769 16-Nov-2024 19:57

Every Christmas I buy a box of Cadbury favourites for my wife but I swap all the wrappers around.

It right gets her snickers in a twix.

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

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