General Mental Health Thread

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Networkn
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#3387198 26-Jun-2025 13:37

Today my mental health took a battering, after the unexpected sudden loss of a friend who I know from my Low n Slow BBQ community. I have spent many hours with him over the last 6 years during my judging stints and he was one of the people who's face appeared when I thought about or remembered my time in BBQ. He will be sorely missed.

He was quite the character, and the world is a worse place without him.

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#3387201 26-Jun-2025 13:55

networkn:

Today my mental health took a battering, after the unexpected sudden loss of a friend who I know from my Low n Slow BBQ community. I have spent many hours with him over the last 6 years during my judging stints and he was one of the people who's face appeared when I thought about or remembered my time in BBQ. He will be sorely missed.

He was quite the character, and the world is a worse place without him.

I am very sorry for your loss. It sucks like hell and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Time will ease the sharpness of the pain. Take care.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

Eva888

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#3387213 26-Jun-2025 15:30

@networkn Commiserations. It's always such a tough thing to deal with. You’d think we would get used to loss being part of life but there’s no sugarcoating that can fix the sadness. There will be so many times he will continue to wander nostalgically into your thoughts but the sadness does eventually dim into a fond memory.

It's a stark reminder of our vulnerability so hug the family and find peace and gratefulness for those you have close.

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#3387269 26-Jun-2025 18:41

Many thoughts for you, Andre

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#3388072 29-Jun-2025 17:09

Sorry to hear. Meanwhile, my own mental health has been largely under control, despite the deteriorating geopolitical outlook and vibecession.

"I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce." — J. Edgar Hoover

"Create a society that values material things above all else. Strip it of industry. Raise taxes for the poor and reduce them for the rich and for corporations. Prop up failed financial institutions with public money. Ask for more tax, while vastly reducing public services. Put adverts everywhere, regardless of people's ability to afford the things they advertise. Allow the cost of food and housing to eclipse people's ability to pay for them. Light blue touch paper." — Andrew Maxwell

BoredNerd

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#3399965 4-Aug-2025 18:46

I'm autistic and living alone I don't have any friends or family near by so I was wondering is anybody on here live near Liven because being alone all the time isn't good for my mental health.

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Eva888

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#3400018 4-Aug-2025 19:45

BoredNerd:

I'm autistic and living alone I don't have any friends or family near by so I was wondering is anybody on here live near Liven because being alone all the time isn't good for my mental health.

Hi that must get lonely. Am wondering where Liven is. Is it a misspelling and you mean Levin? That’s such a community minded place with great pies.

Have you considered going to your local community centre to see what is available. Usually they have heaps of activities to suit all ages. You could join their mailing list so you keep up to date with all the happenings. Maybe join an exercise or dance class. There’s always a chance there to make new friends and when class ends to have a coffee somewhere. Another way to make friends is to volunteer at the hospice shop or some other similar place. I believe they have an SPCA there as well so maybe you can ask if they need help with the animals. A cat or a dog at home is also marvellous company.

The main thing is to get out of the house, it’s the best way to meet people.

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#3400059 4-Aug-2025 22:47

BoredNerd: I'm autistic and living alone I don't have any friends or family near by so I was wondering is anybody on here live near Liven because being alone all the time isn't good for my mental health.

Do you play chess? There are chess clubs all over. I used to find it a nice mix of mildly social and antisocial activity. I have to warn you there is no easy way to prepare to be absolutely thrashed by a ten year old prodigy now and then ; )

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#3400124 5-Aug-2025 11:22

Eva888:

BoredNerd:

I'm autistic and living alone I don't have any friends or family near by so I was wondering is anybody on here live near Liven because being alone all the time isn't good for my mental health.

Hi that must get lonely. Am wondering where Liven is. Is it a misspelling and you mean Levin? That’s such a community minded place with great pies.

Have you considered going to your local community centre to see what is available. Usually they have heaps of activities to suit all ages. You could join their mailing list so you keep up to date with all the happenings. Maybe join an exercise or dance class. There’s always a chance there to make new friends and when class ends to have a coffee somewhere. Another way to make friends is to volunteer at the hospice shop or some other similar place. I believe they have an SPCA there as well so maybe you can ask if they need help with the animals. A cat or a dog at home is also marvellous company.

The main thing is to get out of the house, it’s the best way to meet people.

Yes I meant Levin I think I'm slighting dyslexic I'll check out the community centre see what they have.

Eva888

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#3400126 5-Aug-2025 11:54

@BoredNerd

https://www.horowhenua.govt.nz/News-Events/Events/Event-Calendar?dlv_OC%20CL%20Public%20Events%20Listing=(pageindex=1)

I had a Quick Look and there seems to be heaps to choose from, five pages of activities. Your best bet is to go down there and ask. They will be super knowledgable and may have other suggestions. Remember they need people to participate otherwise the activities close down, so don’t be shy, you are doing them a favour.

If you are proficient in something, maybe you can share your knowledge with others. I see they also have Lego days.

All the best and let us know if you’ve found something that you enjoy.

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#3488883 8-May-2026 18:58

Thanks @freitasm for unlocking the post. Hopefully its a good sign that this thread has been inactive for a while?

I've been feeling like shit all week. Last Saturday a former work colleague and someone I still consider a close friend passed away. He was 2 months younger than me (only 51) and leaves behind his amazing wife and their 11yr old daughter. We haven't seen each other in person for ~8yrs as we live on different sides of the world now but we chatted regularly and talked via video calls on occasions.

Its not the first time I've lost someone close to me but this one hits different for many reasons. The main reason for that is what I discovered this week when I opened up our most recent WhatsApp chat to reminisce about the crap we used to talk about. That chat was only 3 weeks ago on his 51st birthday. With the timezone difference our chats often finished well past midnight and were often left open ended when one of us fell asleep. His last message to me at 12:45am after I'd fallen asleep was "Can I call you tomorrow?". I never saw that message until this week, and we never did get to talk.

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#3488940 8-May-2026 20:38

Senecio:

Thanks @freitasm for unlocking the post. Hopefully its a good sign that this thread has been inactive for a while?

I've been feeling like shit all week. Last Saturday a former work colleague and someone I still consider a close friend passed away. He was 2 months younger than me (only 51) and leaves behind his amazing wife and their 11yr old daughter. We haven't seen each other in person for ~8yrs as we live on different sides of the world now but we chatted regularly and talked via video calls on occasions.

Its not the first time I've lost someone close to me but this one hits different for many reasons. The main reason for that is what I discovered this week when I opened up our most recent WhatsApp chat to reminisce about the crap we used to talk about. That chat was only 3 weeks ago on his 51st birthday. With the timezone difference our chats often finished well past midnight and were often left open ended when one of us fell asleep. His last message to me at 12:45am after I'd fallen asleep was "Can I call you tomorrow?". I never saw that message until this week, and we never did get to talk.

Sorry for your loss, it’s really hard to deal with a friends demise. It’s worse when you see a message you didn’t respond to, so understandable that you feel bad. Happened to me on Teams the other day when my friend being bombed in Beirut left umpteen messages and I didn’t get notifications. Felt awful and the time difference didn’t help.

Nothing can be changed now so try not to feel guilty. I find that doing a good deed for someone and dedicating it to the person that passed away always makes me feel better. Looking up at the universe and saying 'that was for you Harry' makes for a connection in spirit that is always calming. It’s a little bit of hope which dies eternal that you’re being heard. Sometimes it’s good to believe in the unknown and your good deed will make you feel happier.

The other day was searching for an old friends number in Perth. Mr E had an old list of friends worldwide that he kept on record before mobile phones stored your entire existence. We found the numbers…dialled, but no such number anymore. Went down the list and almost all of those friends were gone forever. Sobering reminder of one’s mortality.

As a dear friend also long gone used to say to me. We were given eyes to look forward, not back.

networkn

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#3488949 8-May-2026 21:13

Senecio:

Thanks @freitasm for unlocking the post. Hopefully its a good sign that this thread has been inactive for a while?

I've been feeling like shit all week. Last Saturday a former work colleague and someone I still consider a close friend passed away. He was 2 months younger than me (only 51) and leaves behind his amazing wife and their 11yr old daughter. We haven't seen each other in person for ~8yrs as we live on different sides of the world now but we chatted regularly and talked via video calls on occasions.

Its not the first time I've lost someone close to me but this one hits different for many reasons. The main reason for that is what I discovered this week when I opened up our most recent WhatsApp chat to reminisce about the crap we used to talk about. That chat was only 3 weeks ago on his 51st birthday. With the timezone difference our chats often finished well past midnight and were often left open ended when one of us fell asleep. His last message to me at 12:45am after I'd fallen asleep was "Can I call you tomorrow?". I never saw that message until this week, and we never did get to talk.

It's a tough situation for sure.

Your friend knew how you felt about him, you need not feel guilty, despite how easy it would be to think that way.

A friend once told me, that grief is the price you pay for love.

Hang in there.

GV27

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#3488977 8-May-2026 22:27

Grinding through work at the moment. Something that worked one way in 2023 did not work the same way in 2024. Suddenly it works that way again in 2025. Have thrown up the white flag and asked the developers where we're going wrong. We have a series of cascading deadlines but I'm thinking I should be using this as a good reason to push some of them out as opposed to running myself into the ground to try and meet them.

This seems to be a common experience across my professional friends. Lids have sunk, replacements are not happening, workloads are increasing by 20% - 100% and there is no opportunity to take time off for family or holidays because the workflow risks of falling behind are terrifying.

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#3489034 9-May-2026 00:43

My mental health hasn't changed all that much from my last post in this thread. The geopolitical outlook is now in "interesting times", and the vibecession is no longer just a vibecession.

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