General Mental Health Thread

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networkn

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#283891 18-Mar-2021 10:28

I thought I'd start this thread as a safe place where people can discuss mental health in general, or for them specifically. Let's try and keep it free of judgement etc.

One thing that I have relatively recently learned about myself, is that being too housebound, and not getting interaction with others, has a much higher impact than I would have thought.

Despite being very happy with my own company, I think isolation has a fairly negative impact on me.

Just getting out of the house and away from work is fairly important I think.

When I injured my knee I went from playing squash 4+ times a week to nothing. I didn't think much of it at the time, but 12 months after that I was feeling really pretty average, and it suddenly dawned on me, that Squash was really the only exercise I did and that I wasn't getting any, and rectifying that has had a pretty positive impact too. All things I know in theory, but unless you are thinking about it, it doesn't always occur to you I guess.

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#2676404 18-Mar-2021 10:46

I found out it the hard way, that mental health is the thing, especially for men - we don't share/talk much as this might be seen as a weakness.

I'm 35, living by myself, I thought I'm happy were I am. But 2 lockdowns had impact on me and I started to feel exceptionally apathetic, almost depressed. I had enough guts to ask for help from friends and professional services. And that helped me a lot. I realized I'm not alone in this world, I still have people who care!

Holiday period was tough but much more pleasant that I thought it would be. Things are getting better and better by each day, I started to enjoy little things I used to enjoy: running, cooking, hiking. Working from home got more productive as it was. Little steps to the healthier mind - huge impact on lifestyle.

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#2676422 18-Mar-2021 11:12

Its a really hard thing to talk about. We have had some tough times at home recently. My wife and I work full time and have two young kids. Unfortunately we don't have much family support and have been 'soldiering on' for the last couple of years but things have been getting more stressful for some time and we are taking out our stress on the kids and their behavior has gotten more challenging. I actually called EAP fir the first time recently and I felt a bit silly because I think our problems are nothing compared to what others go through. She said don't compare your situation to others, our problems are unique and not 'better' or 'worse' than others, just different.

My employer has been great, very supportive and I'm entering into a flexible arrangement working 4 days per week, which will free up some time in my life. Things feel a bit chaotic right now, always running from one place to the next.....but just talking about it has really helped and I can say I feel better than I did two weeks ago, and way better than a month ago. Diet changes have helped too. I am generally a positive and upbeat person and have always thought 'mental health' was something others worried about. At the end of the day I want to be a great parent and husband and I think that's why I'm open to things like EAP and actually admitting that we need some help.

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#2676428 18-Mar-2021 11:18

Just getting out of the house and away from work is fairly important I think.

I agree. I work from home a lot and little things like eating lunch outside in the garden, or walking around the block at lunchtime etc...all make a big difference to my day.

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#2676447 18-Mar-2021 12:01

I've found myself being more frustrated with stupid things lately. My doctor has recently seen me for an unrelated health issue (general sickness), but was concerned at my anxiety levels and blood pressure (which swings from "normal" to "WTH!? High").

This made me more anxious. I never used to be like this and put it down to a number of things:

Increased work stress
COVID-related stress
Isolation from WFH
Old age (I'm not that old but sometimes I feel it)
General negativity around me (two teenage boys whose moods swing as is normal for teens and a wife that's a lot less positive in her outlook than she used to be)
Social life seems to have largely stalled, as a result of both the health situation in NZ and everyone being wrapped up in their own lives. We just don't get out like we used to

Overall, I find it harder to bounce back than I used to.

I'm finding going for a walk or heading out on the trails on my mountain bike helps...to a degree.

I probably need to talk to a professional, but I am one of those that thinks that others have it far worse than me, so why should I complain?

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alasta

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#2676459 18-Mar-2021 12:23

I happily live alone and have a very simple life so I don't suffer from the same stresses as some other people, but one thing that has made a surprisingly big difference for me recently is not spending time on Facebook. It recently struck me that I don't gain anything from it, and the braindead lynch mobs on there just create anxiety and annoyance.

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#2676473 18-Mar-2021 13:07

Good timing!

I was about to start a thread looking for recommendations for a good therapist in Auckland - preferable as West as possible!

Dr. has recommended this to go alongside medication and I have finally overcome my reluctance and tried to find someone, but alas - all the ones I have tried are either not taking on new clients or - disappointingly - haven't been good at returning my messages and arranging a session.

Aside from the worrying implication that we seem to be in a mental health crisis if I can't find anyone with the capacity to help, I am now on the verge of putting this in the "too hard" basket and giving up again...

Anyone got any suggestions? I would strongly prefer a female therapist, but open to all first hand recommendations.

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#2676487 18-Mar-2021 13:27

Item:

all the ones I have tried are either not taking on new clients or - disappointingly - haven't been good at returning my messages and arranging a session.

Aside from the worrying implication that we seem to be in a mental health crisis if I can't find anyone with the capacity to help, I am now on the verge of putting this in the "too hard" basket and giving up again...

This is a very real issue everywhere it seems with just not enough people working in the industry. I went through the same thing and would suggest asking to be added to someone's wait list so that you can get to see someone eventually. Luckily the wait for us was only a couple of months but of course that may fluctuate wildly.

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#2676489 18-Mar-2021 13:30

MileHighKiwi:

Its a really hard thing to talk about. We have had some tough times at home recently. My wife and I work full time and have two young kids. Unfortunately we don't have much family support and have been 'soldiering on' for the last couple of years but things have been getting more stressful for some time and we are taking out our stress on the kids and their behavior has gotten more challenging. I actually called EAP fir the first time recently and I felt a bit silly because I think our problems are nothing compared to what others go through. She said don't compare your situation to others, our problems are unique and not 'better' or 'worse' than others, just different.

My employer has been great, very supportive and I'm entering into a flexible arrangement working 4 days per week, which will free up some time in my life. Things feel a bit chaotic right now, always running from one place to the next.....but just talking about it has really helped and I can say I feel better than I did two weeks ago, and way better than a month ago. Diet changes have helped too. I am generally a positive and upbeat person and have always thought 'mental health' was something others worried about. At the end of the day I want to be a great parent and husband and I think that's why I'm open to things like EAP and actually admitting that we need some help.

I do want to +1 EAP Services, if your employer does have it available then don't be afraid to use it.

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#2676492 18-Mar-2021 13:53

After all the publicity concerning mental health It still has a stigma. It saddens me that there are those in society that still make it very difficult for folk to come forward and seek help. My personal experience is don’t ignore the signs and symptoms and please do not dismiss thoughts. Reach out talk about it and get help and don’t as I did allow yourself to get into a very dark place.

Here is a crazy notion, lets give peace a chance.

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#2676503 18-Mar-2021 14:30

Good thread idea tbh.

Would like to suggest anyone struggling with mood or energy levels treat themselves to a GP's visit and getting a blood test to check for basics like vitamin deficiencies or other such things, as well as ruling out anything else more serious.

Can be pricey but with winter coming up, it's probably the smartest money you can spend to check you're not going into it with one hand tied behind your back. Have had issues with vitamin D, B12 etc in the past and they make tough winters even harder.

networkn

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#2676606 18-Mar-2021 16:38

I enjoy stand up comedy and have been regular attenders at the Kiwi Comedy festival in the past, one of the many things that has fallen by the way side in years more recent with more commitments on my personal time, kids etc. I am going to make an effort to attend a few shows this year. As they say, laughter is the best medicine!

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#2676609 18-Mar-2021 16:48

alasta:

I happily live alone and have a very simple life so I don't suffer from the same stresses as some other people, but one thing that has made a surprisingly big difference for me recently is not spending time on Facebook. It recently struck me that I don't gain anything from it, and the braindead lynch mobs on there just create anxiety and annoyance.

I have logged out of Facebook on my desktop and laptop, and removed the Facebook app from my phone months ago. I log in once a week from an incognito window just to see if there are any messages, then logout again.

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#2676749 18-Mar-2021 21:56

freitasm:
alasta:

I happily live alone and have a very simple life so I don't suffer from the same stresses as some other people, but one thing that has made a surprisingly big difference for me recently is not spending time on Facebook. It recently struck me that I don't gain anything from it, and the braindead lynch mobs on there just create anxiety and annoyance.

I have logged out of Facebook on my desktop and laptop, and removed the Facebook app from my phone months ago. I log in once a week from an incognito window just to see if there are any messages, then logout again.

In a similar vein I left one particular FB group quote a long time ago due to constant toxic postings from a number of members. The difference in how much better I felt within just a few weeks was incredible.

More recently I had to set up a new phone but before I did I deleted everything I had to do with Twitter and Instagram. I didn't install FB on my phone (although I do have messenger) and set a rule that I'd check FB on my desktop once a day and stay on it no more than 10 minutes.

It's working so well that I've started to forget about it and sometimes don't check for 3 or 4 days. I'm definitely happier and more relaxed but won't be deleting FB due to it being so useful keeping in touch with friends and rellies overseas.

Messenger may have to come off my phone though - that'll need a bit of planning.

networkn

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#2676754 18-Mar-2021 22:06

I don't have that much of an issue with Facebook. I don't use it much, but I check it most days, I mostly subscribe to my interest groups, Lazy Susan Restaurant Reviews, Guitar Mastery, and BBQ alliance type stuff, where things are pretty unlikely to result in conflict because no-one is usually discussing politics, sex or religion. I am sure there are plenty of places for toxicity, I just tend to be very selective.

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#2676760 18-Mar-2021 22:29

networkn:

I don't have that much of an issue with Facebook. I don't use it much, but I check it most days, I mostly subscribe to my interest groups, Lazy Susan Restaurant Reviews, Guitar Mastery, and BBQ alliance type stuff, where things are pretty unlikely to result in conflict because no-one is usually discussing politics, sex or religion. I am sure there are plenty of places for toxicity, I just tend to be very selective.

Yeah I'm a bit the same. I've blocked most of the political nonsense that friends post. If they make more than 2-3 political posts I just mute them.

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