Today I have had Chorus around and they have installed the ONT and enabled a fibre connection at my home.

I signed up for this in February after Chorus started running fibre around my neighbourhood in Dec 2014 and January this year. It was not until the end of March that I finally got word from Chorus that the fibre was live. It was a run around trying to get that info as neither Spark nor Chorus seem to talk to each other via channels that enable a genuine customer enquiry to be answered by front line staff.

After yet another in store visit I had to get Spark to restart the fibre order/job I had set in place. Turns out it had been stopped.. seems the order went to service provisioning team, they found the fibre was not ready, told the Dunedin Spark staffer but they never contacted us, so the job lapsed and we waiting several weeks and learnt all of the above when we next went in to find out what was happening (or not as the case was).

Jump forward to around April 8 and I finally get a residential Huawei modem sent to me with 100 meg ports on it. I had signed up for the Dunedin Gigatown plan so a BIG whoops with the hardware shipment. At the time I signed, the Spark offer was to go on to the fibre 100/50 plan then then be automatically upgraded to the Gigatown plan when it became available. I guess someone saw 100/50 and thought a HG630b would do..

You may recall Gigabit speed was enabled by the Chorus / Acatel Lucent lads in Dunedin back in February. Several other ISPs have been offering Gigabit speeds since then but not Spark. A 'Congratulations Dunedin' banner 'Gigatown speeds are coming' on the Spark website only works for so many weeks. ;(

Chorus arrive two weeks ago and scope the ONT install and opt to run the fibre up to the roof that day, they return today to do the ONT connection etc.

..and today is the day (it turns out) that voip and other packages are announced by Spark. Net result - I have a fibre install wired for voip, an internet connection that Ethernet speed test reveal 16 down and 50 up - not 100/50 .. hello??  

And the best bit from today  - no outbound nor inbound voice calling because it would appear I need to have the voip service enabled on my ONT. If I try calling any number outbound  I hit a Spark pre recorded message saying 'Welcome to Spark, you have reached the voice test line and you can hang up now"... all inbound calls just ring in the callers ear and our home phones stay silent.

I have called Spark via 123 and spoken to no less than 6 different call centre service folks. The first call (via cellphone and before I knew about the landline hassles) was successful as someone agreed to send me the higher spec Huawei modem that should have shipped in the first place.

The remainder of the calls starting from 11am onwards have got me no where. It seems voip can't be enacted until the fibre job is closed - a job that still needs things sorted on it - like well... the speeds that were promised. At least one person I spoke to prior to 1pm was going to call me back on my cellphone and let me know their progress on sorting my issues... at 6pm that call still had not come.

At 6pm I rang again (I was working all afternoon having already taken half a day away from work to be on site for Chorus guys) explained my problem, got put on hold and bounced between several folks. In the end got put on hold again, the next person who picks up answers the call as if I am a new caller... argh..

That person agrees to set up diversion for my landline to my cellphone so people can reach us but our cellphone is taking a hammering making other BAU outbound calls we can't use our usual landline for. He also says the team that he needs to deal with at Spark shut up shop at 5pm so at 6pm tonight I now must wait until tomorrow to find out what Spark will do next to sort this issue.

Oh BTW I tried to contact Spark last night via live chat around 9pm to ask about the modem upgrade, spent ages typing my my details prior to live chat. The live chat icon was lit as an option to seek help. When I submitted my request I hit the live chat widget that said sorry we are closed from 8.30pm - argh. Why promote a contact us feature on your website that is in fact CLOSED?

If I sound mad - I am. I hope that some kind NZ based Spark person can contact me tomorrow. I just want what I paid for a 100/50 service not 16/50... and upgrade to Gigatown speeds ideally this month and not another 2 months from now... especially galling when others have been enjoying gigabit speeds since Feb.

I would also love to have voice over IP service that works because at present I can't even call 111 for help.

Fixing these issues and heck, a static IP thrown in for good measure, would help take all the hurt away :)