Silly joke thread

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#3056145 29-Mar-2023 11:18

A wife calls her husband: "You darling, I can't start the car. I think there's water in the air filter."
"Are you sitting in the car right now?"
"Yes."
"Well, where are you right now?"
"In the little stream behind our house."

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

Tinkerisk

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#3056147 29-Mar-2023 11:20

Egon tells his friend: "My dog used to greet me with loud barking and my wife brought me my slippers."
Paul asks: "And how is it today?"
"They've swapped."

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

Tinkerisk

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#3056148 29-Mar-2023 11:21

The wife walks into a wine shop. "What wine would you recommend for the 10th wedding anniversary?"
"It all depends. Do you want to celebrate the time you spent together or do you want to get back at him?"

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

Tinkerisk

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#3056151 29-Mar-2023 11:22

"Hey Karen, guess what, your husband is telling everyone he lives a dog's life at home."
"Well, that's true. He comes into the house with dirty feet, makes himself comfortable in front of the stove and waits for dinner."

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

networkn

Networkn
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#3056204 29-Mar-2023 14:13

Perhaps you could condense your jokes so they are 5 to a post?

Tinkerisk

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#3056245 29-Mar-2023 16:14

networkn:

Perhaps you could condense your jokes so they are 5 to a post?

Yes, I thought so too. Only then someone will come forward again and say that they don't find all 5 great (acceptable/borderline/good/notable/dumb). It's already hard enough for me to take cultural differences and language into account - not every joke is understood in the same way everywhere in context, or I simply make translation mistakes ;-)

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

Eva888

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#3056249 29-Mar-2023 16:30

Tinkerisk:
networkn:

Perhaps you could condense your jokes so they are 5 to a post?

Yes, I thought so too. Only then someone will come forward again and say that they don't find all 5 great (acceptable/borderline/good/notable/dumb). It's already hard enough for me to take cultural differences and language into account - not every joke is understood in the same way everywhere in context, or I simply make translation mistakes ;-)

After reading about German language on Bored Panda I can understand why you have difficulty translating :)) it’s rather cute, loved the hand shoes for gloves.

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-german-language-jokes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Tinkerisk

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#3056258 29-Mar-2023 17:19

Eva888:

After reading about German language on Bored Panda I can understand why you have difficulty translating :)) it’s rather cute, loved the hand shoes for gloves.

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-german-language-jokes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

That‘s a funny „pandiscussion“ about the German language. I like that when you can amuse yourself about something like that and laugh together - every language has its peculiarities and it does NOT exist to make someone's (stranger's) life more difficult or to separate yourself, even if learning it seems difficult.

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

floydbloke

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#3056263 29-Mar-2023 17:38

Eva888: ...

After reading about German language on Bored Panda I can understand why you have difficulty translating :)) it’s rather cute, loved the hand shoes for gloves.

https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-german-language-jokes/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

Krankenhaus and Handy are my favourite German words.

The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people

Tinkerisk

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#3056267 29-Mar-2023 18:07

The internationally best-known German word is "Autobahn". This is simply because we do not have a general speed limit on „Autobahnen“ and some people like to use this to drive a Ferrari or Vyron (at night, when there is little traffic) to its top speed. For various reasons, however, people have been working for years to limit this speed because traffic density has increased considerably in recent decades. One reason is also that at over 300km/h, there is not much left of the cars (and their drivers) in the event of a sudden obstacle.

+ back to topic +

Qui nihil scit, omnia credere debet. - He who knows nothing must believe everything.
Firewalls do NOT stop dragons. Really not. But your smart devices are spying on you!
I avoid Big Tech amap. They try hard to dictate technology and „culture“ across borders.
In effect we have everything to hide from someone, and no idea who „someone“ is.

Behodar

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#3056273 29-Mar-2023 18:27

Eva888: it’s rather cute, loved the hand shoes for gloves.

In Japanese, toes are "foot fingers" and a hedgehog is a "needle mouse" :)

frankv

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#3056405 30-Mar-2023 08:15

floydbloke:

Krankenhaus and Handy are my favourite German words.

I like Rathaus and Abfahrt.

Eva888

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#3056408 30-Mar-2023 08:25

Used to make me grin in Sweden...Speed Bump was farthinder.

elpenguino

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#3056438 30-Mar-2023 10:23

frankv:

floydbloke:

Krankenhaus and Handy are my favourite German words.

I like Rathaus and Abfahrt.

They love those double combos. I'll raise you a wackelkontakt and a sitzpinkler.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is knowing not to put it in fruit salad.

MadEngineer

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#3056808 30-Mar-2023 19:26

I thought the best German words were

Du hast

Du hast mich

You're not on Atlantis anymore, Duncan Idaho.

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