This one's about a mower.

https://www.trademe.co.nz/home-living/outdoor-garden-conservatory/lawnmowers/ride-on/auction-1500705375.htm

"Would you like misery in your life? YES?

Want Suicidal thoughts to come easily?

How about total in-depth depression where NO ONE or GROUP has ever gone before?

Have you ever wanted to experience your own blood “BOILING”?

Have you ever wanted to experience your veins expanding 30,000 per cent and popping out from ALL areas of your body - even places you thought never existed?

With this machine, you can “cry an Ocean" – within the hour.

You can freely play Russian Roulette without any concerns of the outcome – none whatsoever! Death would be the win!

You would be “GUARANTEED” frustration, murdering thoughts – with all of the above and MORE >> the list goes on!


Well, well, have I got news for you !
You need look no further than this American made pile of SH#T !!
It is the perfect machine to own if your girlfriend is being a pain in the arse or your marriage is in trouble….. you have something to do and you will be too busy working on it 24/7 to have any other troubles in your World !"