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663 posts

Ultimate Geek
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Topic # 226168 23-Dec-2017 16:27
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This one's about a mower.

https://www.trademe.co.nz/home-living/outdoor-garden-conservatory/lawnmowers/ride-on/auction-1500705375.htm

"Would you like misery in your life? YES?

Want Suicidal thoughts to come easily?

How about total in-depth depression where NO ONE or GROUP has ever gone before?

Have you ever wanted to experience your own blood “BOILING”?

Have you ever wanted to experience your veins expanding 30,000 per cent and popping out from ALL areas of your body - even places you thought never existed?

With this machine, you can “cry an Ocean" – within the hour.

You can freely play Russian Roulette without any concerns of the outcome – none whatsoever! Death would be the win!

You would be “GUARANTEED” frustration, murdering thoughts – with all of the above and MORE >> the list goes on!


Well, well, have I got news for you !
You need look no further than this American made pile of SH#T !!
It is the perfect machine to own if your girlfriend is being a pain in the arse or your marriage is in trouble….. you have something to do and you will be too busy working on it 24/7 to have any other troubles in your World !"


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21131 posts

Uber Geek
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  Reply # 1924189 23-Dec-2017 16:32
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That is a well written ad thanks for the laugh

 

Linux




663 posts

Ultimate Geek
+1 received by user: 228


  Reply # 1924192 23-Dec-2017 16:39
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A painting for sale for 2 million dollars.

I suggest it's self-titled "I'm not paranoid. It's just that everyone's out to get me"

https://www.trademe.co.nz/art/paintings/abstract/acrylic/auction-1500813110.htm

"...As a result of doing that which God put in me to do, creating a company for religious research and development on concepts which could aid the modern age my privacy and human rights have been violated by crown public officials within New Zealand.

This painting was done within New Zealand in the year 2005, and is 1 of only 2 paintings ever done by me.

Part of the money made from this sale will be going on taking a claim against the crown."

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