Do you say thank you for the ugly Christmas jumper?

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openmedia

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#298657 5-Jul-2022 10:26

Just wondering if you're the kind of person who always says thank you for things you either don't want or don't need.

The example is do you accept and say thank you for that ugly Christmas jumper that you'll never wear.

For me there are a couple of categories I'm finding I really need to call out these days

Being given something I don't want or need
Someone else performing a task for me I don't want or need
When a task is being performed incorrectly

What is your perspective. Should we always give thanks, even if things don't meet our needs or expectations, or should we respond if there is an issue or concern?

Generally known online as OpenMedia, now working for Red Hat APAC as a Technology Evangelist and Portfolio Architect. Still playing with MythTV and digital media on the side.

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#2938419 5-Jul-2022 10:37

It wholly depends.

If the item or act was a gift from a family member or friend I 'll always show gratitude.
If it's a paid for item or service and it's not OK then I'll constructively complain until it's put right but I'll thank anyone from the provider organisation who is helping me to get it rectified.

Edit: notwithstanding item 1, there may be merit in educating the gifter what could be done better next time - this is not always easy to do without coming across as ungrateful.

Sometimes I use big words I don't always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

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#2938421 5-Jul-2022 10:39

I was raised to believe that it was rude not to show gratitude for gifts regardless of whether you like them or not and not to allow the person who gave you the gift to be aware of any feelings to the contrary.

networkn

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#2938422 5-Jul-2022 10:40

Yes, I believe that if someone gives you something, unless it's herpes, you should say thank you. You don't need to be effusive.

If someone does something for you, that can be more difficult, esp if it's not done correctly. You need to use your judgement as to the impact of allowing it to continue vs any damage that might be done to your relationship.

In the past when we have had family/friends in a less financially secure position, we have made clear we don't want/need gifts and would rather they share their time with us.

I have had times where something was done in a way I actively didn't want/like, and I always start the conversation with, I appreciate the effort and gesture, however I am particular about how I like that done, and prefer to do it myself or something like that.

I find that being kind usually pays dividends, and the extra effort it takes to find a nice way to handle a situation, is worth it in the longer term.

vexxxboy

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#2938426 5-Jul-2022 10:43

i do , i just dont like confrontation but my wife is my attack dog . If it isnt what we asked for or agreed on then she's the " can i see your manager please" and wont back down if she is in the right . I am a little scared of her when she is in full flight. 😁.

Common sense is not as common as you think.

lxsw20

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#2938428 5-Jul-2022 10:46

You've not been gifted How to win friends and influence people, I'm guessing?

trig42

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#2938447 5-Jul-2022 11:16

I want an ugly Christmas jumper. So, yep, I'd say thanks :)

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MikeAqua

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#2938475 5-Jul-2022 12:07

I always say thank you for gifts

Mike

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#2938480 5-Jul-2022 12:11

As the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. I was taught to say thank you for gifts given and deeds done to and for me. I have taught my kids and grand kids the same.

Here is a crazy notion, lets give peace a chance.

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#2938499 5-Jul-2022 12:41

Often a lot of time and effort is spent on buying or making gifts for someone to enjoy and the perception is that the receiver will love it, so kindest thing is to swallow hard, smile and thank profusely.

Reminds me of a friend that bought me an expensive scarf in both a colour and spots that I immediately hated. She gushed about how much she just knew it would suit me. Each time I visit, on goes the ugly scarf and more gushing when she sees it. It made her happy because she felt she owed me and wanted to show appreciation. What would be the point in crushing her with an honest appraisal. We would both then feel bad.

I tend to choose the path of least resistance and the kindest outcome.

Vexxxboy you made me grin.

Rikkitic

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#2938504 5-Jul-2022 13:14

A little late in the year to be thanking for Christmas gifts, isn't it? I agree with the principle of being polite, but it is worth bearing in mind that most people don't give the gifts they think someone else might want, but the gift they think they would appreciate. Maybe something along the lines of 'this is very nice, auntie, but wouldn't you like to have it for yourself?'

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#2938514 5-Jul-2022 13:51

I just wish people would stop buying me crap. If I want something I will usually go and buy it myself. If its not on a wishlist I have, then it something I probably dont want.

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Geektastic

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#2938516 5-Jul-2022 13:58

vexxxboy:

i do , i just dont like confrontation but my wife is my attack dog . If it isnt what we asked for or agreed on then she's the " can i see your manager please" and wont back down if she is in the right . I am a little scared of her when she is in full flight. 😁.

I have one of those too!

I have in fact said "Well, I can always ask my wife to speak to you about this but you will find dealing with me a lot less painful!"

Dynamic

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#2938536 5-Jul-2022 14:58

Geektastic:

I have one of those too!

I have in fact said "Well, I can always ask my wife to speak to you about this but you will find dealing with me a lot less painful!"

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openmedia

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#2938549 5-Jul-2022 15:44

MikeB4: As the saying goes, “it’s the thought that counts”. I was taught to say thank you for gifts given and deeds done to and for me. I have taught my kids and grand kids the same.

The problem is sometimes there is a total lack of thought.

So how do you to let someone know a gift or action isn't appropriate without hurting their feelings?

Generally known online as OpenMedia, now working for Red Hat APAC as a Technology Evangelist and Portfolio Architect. Still playing with MythTV and digital media on the side.

networkn

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#2938560 5-Jul-2022 16:20

The problem is sometimes there is a total lack of thought.

So how do you to let someone know a gift or action isn't appropriate without hurting their feelings?

It would have to be pretty bad for me to say something to someone who had tried to do/buy something they thought I'd like, even if they got it wrong.

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