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BDFL - Memuneh
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Topic # 191712 13-Feb-2016 18:45
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From "a Witch Who Casts Viruses Out of Computers With Magic":

 

 

I got contacted by a small business owner in Marin county. She had a couple of different viruses and she called me in. First, I cast a circle and called in earth, air, fire and water, and then I called in Mercury, the messenger and communicator. Then I went into a trance state, and all I was doing was feeling. I literally feel [the virus] in my body. I can feel the smoothness where the energy’s running, and then I feel a snag. That’s where the virus got in.

 

Then I performed a banishing ceremony. I used a black bowl with a magnet and water to draw [the virus] out. Then I saged the whole computer to chase the negativity back into the bowl, and then I flushed that down the toilet. After this I did a purification ceremony. Then I made a protection spell out of chloride, amethyst, and jet. I left these on the computer at the base where she works.

 





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  Reply # 1491714 13-Feb-2016 19:01
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How To Start Your Own Religion 

Executive Summary:

1. Choose a focus, a central theme, idea, or person.
2. Create a central belief system, consisting of 2 or 3 main dogmas.
3. Design your rituals.
4. Pay attention to aesthetics, in terms of materials, symbols, etc.
5. Choose your own role. Who are you in this religion?
6. Advertise, advertise, advertise!

You can register a new religion in Califorinia for US $1,395 plus filing fees.

 

EDIT    The witch in question is also known as the Reverend Joey Talley





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  Reply # 1491799 13-Feb-2016 21:56
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Beating the computer with a stick to drive out the demons is obviously a much simpler and more effective method!




Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself - A. H. Weiler

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  Reply # 1492123 14-Feb-2016 16:34
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robjg63: Beating the computer with a stick to drive out the demons is obviously a much simpler and more effective method!

 

I think pouring the magnets and water into the computer could have a similar effect though.





Try Vultr using this link and get us both some credit:

 

http://www.vultr.com/?ref=7033587-3B


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  Reply # 1492130 14-Feb-2016 16:54
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Finally a use for sage.


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  Reply # 1492140 14-Feb-2016 17:44
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Sideface:

 

EDIT    The witch in question is also known as the Reverend Joey Talley

 

 

I accidentally clicked on your link and it affected the wifi and TV in the lounge - I had to remove it from my History to get rid of its effects.


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  Reply # 1492153 14-Feb-2016 18:23
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Clearly in Lala land

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  Reply # 1492168 14-Feb-2016 18:56
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joker97:

 

Sideface:

 

EDIT    The witch in question is also known as the Reverend Joey Talley

 

 

I accidentally clicked on your link and it affected the wifi and TV in the lounge - I had to remove it from my History to get rid of its effects.

 

 

"My ability to be aware of the Earth, Air, Fire, Water, as well as gravity, temperature, the flow and fall, the push and shove of all the natural forces around us, gives me my seemingly 'magical power'. "

 

The Reverend Joey Talley





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  Reply # 1492169 14-Feb-2016 18:58
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Definitely not a very good con, he missed out the yin and the yang, the feng and the shui.


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  Reply # 1492172 14-Feb-2016 19:04
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joker97:

 

Definitely not a very good con, he missed out the yin and the yang, the feng and the shui.

 

 

Californian witches do not require yang, feng or shui. They are NGOs. (yes, really) wink





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  Reply # 1492173 14-Feb-2016 19:09
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robjg63: Beating the computer with a stick to drive out the demons is obviously a much simpler and more effective method!

 

 

 

to complicated and may be dangerous, fire would be better .


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  Reply # 1492186 14-Feb-2016 19:16
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Sideface:

 

How To Start Your Own Religion 

Executive Summary:

1. Choose a focus, a central theme, idea, or person.
2. Create a central belief system, consisting of 2 or 3 main dogmas.
3. Design your rituals.
4. Pay attention to aesthetics, in terms of materials, symbols, etc.
5. Choose your own role. Who are you in this religion?
6. Advertise, advertise, advertise!

You can register a new religion in Califorinia for US $1,395 plus filing fees.

 

EDIT    The witch in question is also known as the Reverend Joey Talley

 

 

Many years ago I shared a house with a hacker group. Eventually they moved on, but they left me with a phone registered to SATAN Research. I no longer remember exactly what the acronym stood for, but it had something to do with computers and their rather adolescent sense of humour. For months afterwards I was besieged with phone calls from wannabe Satan worshipers, many of whom refused to believe me when I insisted that the number had nothing to do with the devil. They seemed to think it was a test of some kind. If I had been so inclined, I could have easily installed a makeshift alter with an upside-down cross and some chicken blood and made a fortune preaching to these idiots.

 

 





I reject your reality and substitute my own. - Adam Savage
 


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  Reply # 1492719 15-Feb-2016 16:18
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Phew, close call ..

 

 

 

Web Page Blocked!

 

 

You have tried to access a web page which is in violation of your internet usage policy.

 

URL: www.reverendjoey.com/
Category: Alternative Beliefs

 





My thoughts are no longer my own and is probably representative of our media-controlled government


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  Reply # 1492765 15-Feb-2016 17:42
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I have a virus which will get rid of witches.





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  Reply # 1493074 16-Feb-2016 10:11
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This is a serious matter guys.

 


John Key's lot has blocked all Pharmac funding for the one drug that will immunize people from computer virus's
When the computer virus jumps species into humans, it wont be a laughing matter .

 

Even my trusted tinfoil hat is no longer an effective barrier . The lead helmets, while effective, are just too heavy for everyday use.

 

 


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  Reply # 1493100 16-Feb-2016 10:50
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That won't matter after the government passes a law requiring cyclists to use them.

 

 





I reject your reality and substitute my own. - Adam Savage
 


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