By law, you must turn on your headlights when it rains in Sweden.

How the hell am I am supposed to know when its raining in Sweden?!

Why dont orphans play baseball ?

Because they don't have a home.

Where should you go when you're cold?

In the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need..none of this how did you get in my house nonsense!

My wife has just thrown five cricket balls at me.

I've told her one more and it's over.

I've been hunting for all the missing Monopoly pieces after a mid-game tantrum - but sadly, no dice.