Why don't clams donate to charity?

They are shellfish

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

A man loses his willy - covered by insurance. Plastic Surgeon says 'Small one $x, medium one $xx, big one $xxx'.

Two months later, Doc sees the guy in the street. 'Hey man, you never came back to me - what happened?'

'Ah, we decided to renovate the kitchen'.

It's ok to kiss a nun, provided that you don't get into the habit.

Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

Crap joke. 

tecnam2003:

Elephant stomping though the jungle comes upon a mouse

 

looking down the elephant says

 

"Why am I so big and you so small?"

 

looking up the mouse replied

 

"Ive not been well"

 

Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

Better late than never!

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are in the middle of a furious light saber duel, the outcome of which will decide the fate of the galaxy.

The fight has raged backwards and forwards for several minutes, but at last it appears that Luke has the upper hand. He pins Vader against the wall.

Suddenly, Vader rasps, "Luke; I know what you're getting for Christmas."

"Noo!" Luke demands: "How could you possibly know that?"

To which Vader says, "I felt your presents."

What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

 Attire

---

How many grams of protein are in a slice of Pie?

3.1415926...

overheard: man complains to friend that there are too many nuns around.

Nun: Well why don't you go to hell, there aren't any nuns there.

eracode:

 

Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

 

Crap joke. 

 

I don't get this

When my niece was 5 she invented this joke...

What do you call a horse with 100 legs?

- Stable.

joker97:

 

eracode:

 

Fred99:

 

Herr Doktor, ich hab jeden Morgen um 7 Uhr Stuhlgang!”

 

“Ja, das ist doch sehr gut!”  

 

“Aber ich steh erst um halb acht auf!”

 

 

Crap joke. 

 

 

I don't get this

 

Google Translate ist dein Freund

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

froob:

 

What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick.

 

Nah - a stick's what you call a boomerang that won't come back.