
CLARENCE THOMAS BLAMES INFLATION FOR RISING COST OF SUPREME COURT DECISIONS
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Citing “unfortunate economic realities,” jurist Clarence Thomas disclosed his new charges in a mass e-mail sent to more than a hundred super-donors.
“I have tried to keep my prices reasonable, but, as inflation proves more stubborn than predicted, I have no choice but to adjust my rates accordingly. Sadly, the days of shredding civil rights in exchange for ten private-jet flights are over."
It remains to be seen whether the billionaires who received Thomas’s e-mail will tolerate his steeper prices or whether they will explore a budget option such as Neil Gorsuch.




