At a wedding reception, the MC asks all the men in the room to please stand next to the person who makes their lives worth living.

Unfortunately the bar tender was crushed to death in the stampede.

"Donald Trump for president"

Gets me every time.

DravidDavid:

 

"Donald Trump for president"

 

Gets me every time.

 

Unfortunately, sick jokes sometimes come true. ...

If I think of one that won't 'offend' somebody, somewhere, I'll post it!

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.

50 best Christmas cracker jokes

20 Christmas Cracker Jokes That Are So Bad They're Good

15 of the best and worst Christmas cracker jokes

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator!

Stuff.co.nz

Why did the Rooster cross the road? 

To prove he wasn't a chicken. 

Elephant stomping though the jungle comes upon a mouse

looking down the elephant says

"Why am I so big and you so small?"

looking up the mouse replied

"Ive not been well"

Two elephants fall off a cliff

Boom Boom!

What do you call a guy with two rabbits up his backside?

Warren.

What do you call a guy with a spade jammed in his head?

Doug.

Geektastic:

 

If I think of one that won't 'offend' somebody, somewhere, I'll post it!