This is not a "Vodafone bashing" attempt - I had pretty good service from Vodafone when I needed them during the past couple of years or so. 

 

1. simplex account and seibel account
2. customer service circularity
3. SKY phone number in "My Vodafone"

 

1.
In August I had to renew my phone/broadband/SKY contract and in the process got given a new account number, say "xyz". A few days ago, I wanted to order fibre which had just now become available at my address (Titirangi). 

 

I identified myself, giving the account number "xyz", and eventually got referred to a Vodafone sales person (I presume), let's call him "A". He was very thorough, wanting to verify all my details (fair enough, records need to be up to date), and then asked which account I was calling about: "abc" or "xyz". Of course I only knew about "xyz" (and maybe the older account from before August, but this was not "abc").

 

So he explained that "abc" was my "simplex account", whilst "xyz" was my "seibel account" (spelling?). Neither of us knew what that was supposed to mean. Anyway, we proceded, agreeing that I was only dealing with account "xyz", and we sorted that deal (although the promised confirmation email has not yet arrived). He ended the call by promising to get to the bottom of the "simplex account" story, and to ring back when he knew the details. About an hour later the result was in: "abc" was in a name unknown to me at an address in Lower Hutt, unknown to me. Neither of us able to understand how the system would mix us together. I suppose stranger things happen...

 

2. On navigating the phone menu of Vodafone, the following emerged:
0800 438 448 -> welcome -> provide phone number -> choose "sales" 
from there I got 2 options: "sales" or "customer service" 
Just for fun, I chose "customer service" 
To my surprise, I was greeted with "welcome to Vodafone..." and the merry-go-round could probably continue forever.

 

3. I wanted to delete a particular KY TV service, and when I was on "My Vodafone" continued to "SKY Basic" "manage plan". This brings up a list of the services we are subscribed to, headed as follows:
My Add-Ons
To add or remove channels from your plan, please call 0800 800 800

 

Alas, this is the phone number of Lantern Insurance who would be most unlikely to be able to help.

 

[Obviously, I have too much time on my hands, seeing I can be bothered by these trivia...]