The Oh lets not do presents this year thread

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#1692922 20-Dec-2016 17:02

Rikkitic:

dickytim:

Rikkitic:

No offense intended, but you have an awfully old-fashioned idea of women.

There is nothing old fashioned about what was said, it was a factual observation about what happened.

Anyone who thinks males and females are the same is delusional!

Females tend to not say what they mean, males tend more to say nothing in fear of being wrong or say what they mean.

It sounded a lot to me like that old chestnut about women not being able to parallel park. It is a stereotype from an era when men made offhand condescending remarks that belittled women, portraying them as flaky or irrational as a consequence of their gender. It reminds me of those 1950s films that presume the ultimate ambition of every woman is to have a diamond or mink coat presented to her by a man. I would hope we have moved on from that.

Do you know any women?!

Not sure I have ever met one who would turn down either of those.

Rikkitic

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#1692937 20-Dec-2016 17:25

Keep digging, mate!

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

andrewNZ

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#1692938 20-Dec-2016 17:30

Rikkitic:
Keep digging, mate!

Right, you two have done a page of this now. Bugger off and do it somewhere else please.

Rikkitic

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#1692940 20-Dec-2016 17:35

Sorry, I'm done.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

DarthKermit

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#1692944 20-Dec-2016 17:53

Yeah, my family are for the most part doing no prezzies. It's a good way of giving the middle finger to all the advertising and commercialism.

SepticSceptic

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#1693085 21-Dec-2016 09:18

I was thinking about sharing my Aliexpress wish list to my wife and my kids, and get then to pick and choose what to give me.

At least it reasonably inexpensive, and it's stuff that I'll be using.

pctek

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#1693268 21-Dec-2016 14:13

I can't stand spending hundreds of dollars on presents that are not needed, especially the latest fad toys for nieces and nephews that are played with on xmas day then never again.

partner says to me, "lets not do presents for each other, instead let's put the money towards going to Waiheke for a weekend away before baby comes.

Wrong! Now I need to find a last minute gift.

Totally agree. I hate xmas. Buy loads of food to make huge meals so that everyone is stuffed and you have to eat leftovers for the next month. Excellent way to make everyone sick of it all.

Ditto the presents.

Kids, yes. Within reason. I like the practical. Got grandchild a trampoline one year. Got her a bike. That sort of thing.

Plastic toy of the year junk? Hate it, they lose interest in 5 minutes.

Anyone not a kid? Well if you have a new loved one, perhaps. But nah, stick to birthdays and anniversaries.

Everyone flogs it off on Trademe the next day anyway, whats the point?

All the hype and buildup and it's just a disappointment and PITA on the day.

Give me halloween anytime, happy kids coming to my decorated house and getting something they really want.

I'd stick to the agreement, regardless if she changed her mind. A far better idea.

Give her a card with a Waiheke brochure in it. Give in now and you'll spend the rest of the married life being sucked dry g=financially and end up miserable.

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networkn

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#1693269 21-Dec-2016 14:14

pctek:

I can't stand spending hundreds of dollars on presents that are not needed, especially the latest fad toys for nieces and nephews that are played with on xmas day then never again.

partner says to me, "lets not do presents for each other, instead let's put the money towards going to Waiheke for a weekend away before baby comes.

Wrong! Now I need to find a last minute gift.

Totally agree. I hate xmas. Buy loads of food to make huge meals so that everyone is stuffed and you have to eat leftovers for the next month. Excellent way to make everyone sick of it all.

Ditto the presents.

Kids, yes. Within reason. I like the practical. Got grandchild a trampoline one year. Got her a bike. That sort of thing.

Plastic toy of the year junk? Hate it, they lose interest in 5 minutes.

Anyone not a kid? Well if you have a new loved one, perhaps. But nah, stick to birthdays and anniversaries.

Everyone flogs it off on Trademe the next day anyway, whats the point?

All the hype and buildup and it's just a disappointment and PITA on the day.

Give me halloween anytime, happy kids coming to my decorated house and getting something they really want.

I'd stick to the agreement, regardless if she changed her mind. A far better idea.

Give her a card with a Waiheke brochure in it. Give in now and you'll spend the rest of the married life being sucked dry g=financially and end up miserable.

Wow this makes for hell depressing reading.

Geektastic

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#1693270 21-Dec-2016 14:16

networkn:

pctek:

I can't stand spending hundreds of dollars on presents that are not needed, especially the latest fad toys for nieces and nephews that are played with on xmas day then never again.

partner says to me, "lets not do presents for each other, instead let's put the money towards going to Waiheke for a weekend away before baby comes.

Wrong! Now I need to find a last minute gift.

Totally agree. I hate xmas. Buy loads of food to make huge meals so that everyone is stuffed and you have to eat leftovers for the next month. Excellent way to make everyone sick of it all.

Ditto the presents.

Kids, yes. Within reason. I like the practical. Got grandchild a trampoline one year. Got her a bike. That sort of thing.

Plastic toy of the year junk? Hate it, they lose interest in 5 minutes.

Anyone not a kid? Well if you have a new loved one, perhaps. But nah, stick to birthdays and anniversaries.

Everyone flogs it off on Trademe the next day anyway, whats the point?

All the hype and buildup and it's just a disappointment and PITA on the day.

Give me halloween anytime, happy kids coming to my decorated house and getting something they really want.

I'd stick to the agreement, regardless if she changed her mind. A far better idea.

Give her a card with a Waiheke brochure in it. Give in now and you'll spend the rest of the married life being sucked dry g=financially and end up miserable.

Wow this makes for hell depressing reading.

Quite - who wants kids turning up at their house?!

MikeB4

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#1693288 21-Dec-2016 14:28

I wrote in an earlier post that we only do little gifts of hampers etc. However my lovely wife gave me an early Christmas present of a 27" Apple iMac. She says to to rid me of what has been an annus horribillis. Was a real surprise and awesome.

rayonline

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#1693328 21-Dec-2016 15:21

We were brought up without presents. Xmas is maybe a family dinner together. If someone needed something then they may get a gift some weeks before or after the special day.

When I was little, I got given maybe $20 (in the late 1980s) so I went to the toy store or Farmers / Deka to get something at the toy store the day or a few days before Xmas. Never been the ones with my own BMX / Skateboard.

Rikkitic

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#1693404 21-Dec-2016 17:21

One thing I always liked about Holland was the separation into two Christmases. December 5 is for gift-giving, especially the children. The 25th is a religious and family day, with the emphasis on food and togetherness. This has become blurred with the descent into crass commercialism, but still exists to some extent. Kids know the Jesus story and don't confuse him with Santa Claus. I am not religious, but I can appreciate that aspect and the beauty of Christmas mass.

Plesse igmore amd axxept applogies in adbance fir anu typos

mattwnz

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#1693442 21-Dec-2016 18:24

Disrespective:

dickytim:Last year I spent almost $2,000 on xmas gifts, food etc. To me that is insane, to others I am sure it is a small amount.

That is certifiably insane.

As a family we no longer buy presents for adults except our own spouses. Once you hit 30 or have children the emphasis moves away from you, and onto the next generation anyway. And even then we limit present prices for the kids to a maximum of $50 and adults rarely over $100.

I have no interest in spending anything more than what I feel right at the time which means the price limits might go up if the gift needs it.

We aren't hard up, but the family all feel that it's not about what the present is worth but that it's something that the person either wants, or can't be bothered buying for themselves.

I have found that it is parents of kids, that tend to want to do away with giving presents, as it is a lot of work for them on top of buying the kids presents. I think it is more about the hassle than cost eg being time poor, and it is a lot of work to think about what someone may want or need. My brother has done that this year, so only their kids are getting presents from the rest of the family, and not the adults. But the rest of the adult family, including those who don't have kids will be giving and getting gifts as usual, and they shouldn't miss out on getting something, just because they don't have kids or partners.
I have a max of between $30-$50 per person, although I usually buy throughout the year when there are good deals on, so even though I only spend $50, they maybe getting something that was originally on sale for $100-150, depending on the item. It isn't a big family so cost isn't a problem. Although I can see it being a big issue for a large family, so can see why some will chose not to do it. I actually enjoy giving gifts more than receiving them, and apart from birthdays, it is the only time people tend to give other people gifts.

dafman

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#1693471 21-Dec-2016 19:30

andrewNZ:
Rikkitic:

Keep digging, mate!

Right, you two have done a page of this now. Bugger off and do it somewhere else please.

Err, I was quite enjoying it ...

dafman

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#1693472 21-Dec-2016 19:41

deadlyllama:

We do home made consumable gifts for friends and relatives -- my wife makes amazing chocolate truffles and I make ginger beer, both of which are very popular.

We try to do "big gifts are for birthdays." We don't want the focus to be on the presents. This is for a bunch of reasons but the big one is that <religion>Christmas is supposed to be about our Lord and Saviour being brought into the world as a tiny defenceless baby born to a couple of Jewish peasants,</religion> not landfills worth of cheap plastic crap from China.

The grandparents and aunts/uncles are getting quite good at clearing ideas for gifts for the children through us. This year our daughter has got a swingball set which was most exciting. Last year they got a trampoline from the inlaws.

Yeah, the kids know that Santa isn't real. They're still excited to see someone dressed as Santa at the preschool Christmas party handing out parcels.

I have too much stuff in my life, so the idea of other people guessing what extra stuff I might want has never appealed. I like your idea of consumable gifts, so will probably drop that into the discussion this year over Xmas dinner.

As an athiest, I'm not aligned with you on what Xmas is about, but I do agree 110% on it not being about landfills worth of cheap plastic crap from China.

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