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  Reply # 1223889 28-Jan-2015 11:13
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True story time:

In my first job, I flew a lot. Enough that I got to Platinum on Qantas mostly by doing the Sydney-Auckland run. So... a lot. As an extremely frequent flyer I had my packing down to a fine art and could easily pack for a week in carry-on. My seat preference, therefore, was as close to the front as possible so that I could be out of the airport and on my way. Record time for elapsed time from disembarkation to transport home while flying internationally was 10 minutes. But I digress.

One morning I had to go visit Telstra in Brisbane, so I was already in a bad mood because Brisbane is hot, sticky, and boring. For whatever reason, they decided to put me in the second last row.

A woman boards, and, looking extremely nervous, goes to the last row directly behind me and sits down. When a stewardess comes past, she snagged her and says 'Excuse me, but this is the safest part of the plane, isn't it? Like, if we were in a crash?'

The devil made me do it. I turned around, and with a straight face said 'Actually, if we were to stall on takeoff due to engine failure, it's most likely the tail section would hit first and we'd be strawberry jam.'

The stewardess gave me The Look. You married men all know the one.

Totally worth it.




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These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.


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  Reply # 1223895 28-Jan-2015 11:20
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SaltyNZ: True story time:

In my first job, I flew a lot. Enough that I got to Platinum on Qantas mostly by doing the Sydney-Auckland run. So... a lot. As an extremely frequent flyer I had my packing down to a fine art and could easily pack for a week in carry-on. My seat preference, therefore, was as close to the front as possible so that I could be out of the airport and on my way. Record time for elapsed time from disembarkation to transport home while flying internationally was 10 minutes. But I digress.

One morning I had to go visit Telstra in Brisbane, so I was already in a bad mood because Brisbane is hot, sticky, and boring. For whatever reason, they decided to put me in the second last row.

A woman boards, and, looking extremely nervous, goes to the last row directly behind me and sits down. When a stewardess comes past, she snagged her and says 'Excuse me, but this is the safest part of the plane, isn't it? Like, if we were in a crash?'

The devil made me do it. I turned around, and with a straight face said 'Actually, if we were to stall on takeoff due to engine failure, it's most likely the tail section would hit first and we'd be strawberry jam.'

The stewardess gave me The Look. You married men all know the one.

Totally worth it.


Not so funny if you suffer from fight/flying phobia, which can be incapacitating:

From Wiki:

The fear of flying may be created by various other phobias and fears:

    Fear of crashing which most likely results in death, is the most common reason for the fear of flying.
    Fear of closed in spaces (claustrophobia), such as that of an aircraft cabin
    Fear of heights (acrophobia)
    Feeling of not being in control
    Fear of vomiting, where a person will be afraid that they'll have motion sickness on board, or encounter someone having motion sickness and have no control over it
    Fear of having panic attacks in certain places, where escape would be difficult and/or embarrassing (agoraphobia)
    Fear of hijacking or terrorism





Sideface




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  Reply # 1223896 28-Jan-2015 11:21
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SaltyNZ: True story time:

In my first job, I flew a lot. Enough that I got to Platinum on Qantas mostly by doing the Sydney-Auckland run. So... a lot. As an extremely frequent flyer I had my packing down to a fine art and could easily pack for a week in carry-on. My seat preference, therefore, was as close to the front as possible so that I could be out of the airport and on my way. Record time for elapsed time from disembarkation to transport home while flying internationally was 10 minutes. But I digress.

One morning I had to go visit Telstra in Brisbane, so I was already in a bad mood because Brisbane is hot, sticky, and boring. For whatever reason, they decided to put me in the second last row.

A woman boards, and, looking extremely nervous, goes to the last row directly behind me and sits down. When a stewardess comes past, she snagged her and says 'Excuse me, but this is the safest part of the plane, isn't it? Like, if we were in a crash?'

The devil made me do it. I turned around, and with a straight face said 'Actually, if we were to stall on takeoff due to engine failure, it's most likely the tail section would hit first and we'd be strawberry jam.'

The stewardess gave me The Look. You married men all know the one.

Totally worth it.


Wow not sure I would be skiting for being a world class prat personally. 


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  Reply # 1223902 28-Jan-2015 11:28
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Sometimes sitting in Wellington Airport waiting for the wife's plane to arrive on a very windy day can be interesting seeing just how many shades of white and grey the human face can turn irrespective of ethnicity. But yes fear of flying is quite common.




Mike
Retired IT Manager. 
The views stated in my posts are my personal views and not that of any other organisation.

 

 Mac user, Windows curser, Chrome OS desired.

 

The great divide is the lies from both sides.

 

 


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  Reply # 1223903 28-Jan-2015 11:29
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SaltyNZ: True story time:

In my first job, I flew a lot. Enough that I got to Platinum on Qantas mostly by doing the Sydney-Auckland run. So... a lot. As an extremely frequent flyer I had my packing down to a fine art and could easily pack for a week in carry-on. My seat preference, therefore, was as close to the front as possible so that I could be out of the airport and on my way. Record time for elapsed time from disembarkation to transport home while flying internationally was 10 minutes. But I digress.

One morning I had to go visit Telstra in Brisbane, so I was already in a bad mood because Brisbane is hot, sticky, and boring. For whatever reason, they decided to put me in the second last row.

A woman boards, and, looking extremely nervous, goes to the last row directly behind me and sits down. When a stewardess comes past, she snagged her and says 'Excuse me, but this is the safest part of the plane, isn't it? Like, if we were in a crash?'

The devil made me do it. I turned around, and with a straight face said 'Actually, if we were to stall on takeoff due to engine failure, it's most likely the tail section would hit first and we'd be strawberry jam.'

The stewardess gave me The Look. You married men all know the one.

Totally worth it.


I think its allowed to mess with the heads of the chair back tilters though




Mike
Retired IT Manager. 
The views stated in my posts are my personal views and not that of any other organisation.

 

 Mac user, Windows curser, Chrome OS desired.

 

The great divide is the lies from both sides.

 

 


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  Reply # 1223904 28-Jan-2015 11:30
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KiwiNZ: Sometimes sitting in Wellington Airport waiting for the wife's plane to arrive on a very windy day can be interesting seeing just how many shades of white and grey the human face can turn irrespective of ethnicity. But yes fear of flying is quite common.


The famous quote from a female passenger who had just landed in Wellington on a particularly windy day: "Next time I'll wear a sports bra."




Sideface


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  Reply # 1223905 28-Jan-2015 11:33
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Sideface:
KiwiNZ: Sometimes sitting in Wellington Airport waiting for the wife's plane to arrive on a very windy day can be interesting seeing just how many shades of white and grey the human face can turn irrespective of ethnicity. But yes fear of flying is quite common.


The famous quote from a female passenger who had just landed in Wellington on a particularly windy day: "Next time I'll wear a sports bra."


One day out there I went the full length of the then upstairs car park without one needing to propel the wheelchair myself. I went from the crossing at the beginning to the mobility parks at the northern end It was cool.




Mike
Retired IT Manager. 
The views stated in my posts are my personal views and not that of any other organisation.

 

 Mac user, Windows curser, Chrome OS desired.

 

The great divide is the lies from both sides.

 

 




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  Reply # 1223906 28-Jan-2015 11:35
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I recall flying into Wellington a year or so back, and the plane was all over the place, seriously bumping and side to side. I was white knuckling it, thinking to myself it would be impossible to land a plane in these winds, and that any second now the pilot was going to abort the landing attempt, when I looked to my right and every single person in my row was asleep. Helped reassure me considerably and true story, we landed safely. 

Leaving was worse as we were the last plane allowed to leave before a huge storm came in, I thought for sure the wings were coming off, thankfully it only lasted 2-3 minutes. True story, we also got home safely. 

I recall circling Christchurch airport in a storm for the 5th time in a month and going around and around and it was horribly bumpy and I was NOT having any fun, when the guy beside me changed my life, by saying to me " you know the pilot wants to get home to his family too right".

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  Reply # 1223911 28-Jan-2015 11:40
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networkn:
I recall circling Christchurch airport in a storm for the 5th time in a month and going around and around and it was horribly bumpy and I was NOT having any fun, when the guy beside me changed my life, by saying to me " you know the pilot wants to get home to his family too right".


Landing in Dublin is even more fun than Wellington or Christchurch. Especially when you're in a 30-passenger twin turboprop. They approach rolled over to one side and yawed (into the crosswind), touch down one main wheel, and THEN they level out and put the other wheel down, then finally the nose. It's better than Space Mountain.




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  Reply # 1223912 28-Jan-2015 11:42
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networkn: I recall flying into Wellington a year or so back, and the plane was all over the place, seriously bumping and side to side. I was white knuckling it, thinking to myself it would be impossible to land a plane in these winds, and that any second now the pilot was going to abort the landing attempt, when I looked to my right and every single person in my row was asleep. Helped reassure me considerably and true story, we landed safely. 

Leaving was worse as we were the last plane allowed to leave before a huge storm came in, I thought for sure the wings were coming off, thankfully it only lasted 2-3 minutes. True story, we also got home safely. 

I recall circling Christchurch airport in a storm for the 5th time in a month and going around and around and it was horribly bumpy and I was NOT having any fun, when the guy beside me changed my life, by saying to me " you know the pilot wants to get home to his family too right".


I have been on a 737 flight when the pilot aborted meters off the tarmac, the power thrust was awesome.  I must admit to talking to the big guy upstairs though and wondering how on earth my bowel stayed intact 




Mike
Retired IT Manager. 
The views stated in my posts are my personal views and not that of any other organisation.

 

 Mac user, Windows curser, Chrome OS desired.

 

The great divide is the lies from both sides.

 

 


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  Reply # 1223913 28-Jan-2015 11:43
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A few years back flying into Auckland with my sister and brother in law and it was a bit turbulent, the brother in law woke up from a particularly rough jolt and instantly sat upright and called out "we're all gunna die!" before realising he'd said it aloud and looking around himself at all of the scared faces looking back at him with a sheepish look on his face.



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  Reply # 1223922 28-Jan-2015 11:45
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KiwiNZ:
networkn: I recall flying into Wellington a year or so back, and the plane was all over the place, seriously bumping and side to side. I was white knuckling it, thinking to myself it would be impossible to land a plane in these winds, and that any second now the pilot was going to abort the landing attempt, when I looked to my right and every single person in my row was asleep. Helped reassure me considerably and true story, we landed safely. 

Leaving was worse as we were the last plane allowed to leave before a huge storm came in, I thought for sure the wings were coming off, thankfully it only lasted 2-3 minutes. True story, we also got home safely. 

I recall circling Christchurch airport in a storm for the 5th time in a month and going around and around and it was horribly bumpy and I was NOT having any fun, when the guy beside me changed my life, by saying to me " you know the pilot wants to get home to his family too right".


I have been on a 737 flight when the pilot aborted meters off the tarmac, the power thrust was awesome.  I must admit to talking to the big guy upstairs though and wondering how on earth my bowel stayed intact 


As an 11 year old I was landing in Hamilton in a storm, we had 3 failed attempts to land, vomit was everywhere in the cabin (not mine), people were praying and crying, captain comes over and says, the last attempt burned more fuel than we expected, we don't have the fuel to get to Auckland, we are going to be on the ground in 2 minutes one way or another, everyone needs to brace for a rough landing.  As we are coming in, it felt like the plane flipped onto it's side a couple of meters from the ground, then flipped back onto the tarmac, and landed. Pilot got a standing ovation and looked a little green himself. 


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  Reply # 1223925 28-Jan-2015 11:48
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networkn: the plane flipped onto it's side a couple of meters from the ground, then flipped back onto the tarmac, and landed. 



Yes, as I said above, that's a very common technique for landing in a strong crosswind.




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These comments are my own and do not represent the opinions of 2degrees.




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  Reply # 1223926 28-Jan-2015 11:49
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SaltyNZ:
networkn: the plane flipped onto it's side a couple of meters from the ground, then flipped back onto the tarmac, and landed. 



Yes, as I said above, that's a very common technique for landing in a strong crosswind.


Pilot said it wasn't a planned part of the landing, that it was a massive gust of wind.

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  Reply # 1223929 28-Jan-2015 11:51
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SaltyNZ: True story time:

In my first job, I flew a lot. Enough that I got to Platinum on Qantas mostly by doing the Sydney-Auckland run. So... a lot. As an extremely frequent flyer I had my packing down to a fine art and could easily pack for a week in carry-on. My seat preference, therefore, was as close to the front as possible so that I could be out of the airport and on my way. Record time for elapsed time from disembarkation to transport home while flying internationally was 10 minutes. But I digress.

One morning I had to go visit Telstra in Brisbane, so I was already in a bad mood because Brisbane is hot, sticky, and boring. For whatever reason, they decided to put me in the second last row.

A woman boards, and, looking extremely nervous, goes to the last row directly behind me and sits down. When a stewardess comes past, she snagged her and says 'Excuse me, but this is the safest part of the plane, isn't it? Like, if we were in a crash?'

The devil made me do it. I turned around, and with a straight face said 'Actually, if we were to stall on takeoff due to engine failure, it's most likely the tail section would hit first and we'd be strawberry jam.'

The stewardess gave me The Look. You married men all know the one.

Totally worth it.


We used to do this to my mother as kids. Every time there was a bang, clunk etc from the plane we would announce "oh that was just the wing breaking" or some such. Had many a clip round the ear for that, but as you say, totally worth it!

My mother won't fly anywhere now my father is not alive to drag her along and since all her sons live spread across the globe, we only ever see her on Skype unless we fly there!





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