I cannot think of any words that don't sound trite. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all this.

This is a scary thing to put in a public place:

What a horrible past 18 months my family and I have had. We weathered 2020 pretty well, despite the huge stress, but we lost a key member of staff during the 2021 lockdown and replacing them was very very difficult made more difficult by partial truths told during interviews around visa statuses and driver license status etc. Basically took 3 months to get that person sorted fully. They stayed long enough to get their paperwork sorted through us, and then left.  Stress in our household was at an all time high as my wife, a doctor was in a very difficult employment situation of her own, not to mention crazy hours, wicked stress related to the pandemic.  I was a mess really, and though I have always been relatively highly strung/anxious (not problematically), it was on top of me 24/7 and things were pretty rough. 

I decided to make some changes in my life, and despite hating the thought of giving in, I agreed to start anti-anxiety medication. It felt like a personal defeat, I've never relied on drugs of any type to help me through tough times. 

It helped quite a lot. It didn't take away the problems, but it has made the anxiety less ... 'sharp'. That allowed me to have a clearer head which helped me sort what needed to be done. It meant no more waking in a panic at 5am unable to go back to sleep, moments of not being able to breath.

I merged my company with another about the same size, and whilst it's been really hard work, and stressful in it's own way, it's a change of responsibility in many ways, someone to share the load for both of us, and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and am looking forward to 2023. It's nice to have enough capacity to work toward being proactive again, I have excitement on what we can achieve. I am enjoying my work for the first time in a while despite the stress.

There isn't much in the world that feels worse than not having 'enough', and letting people down. Whether that is Money, Time, staff, love, or whatever. Despite working really hard my whole life to put myself in a position where I had 'enough', for the first time in many years, there wasn't enough of so many things.  I feel like I can solve anything, even if it's hard, so long as I have enough, and for the first time in 18 months, I think I am heading toward having enough again. 

My wife and I have been together since I was 17 years, well over half our lives, and she has been absolutely amazing esp this year. I am not sure how I would have coped without her. 

I have a break from work and an overseas trip of a lifetime planned. 

It's been really tough writing this out. It's hard to share personal stuff online for me, I am relatively a private person, and to admit Anxiety and needing external help with it I am only doing in case there is someone else who reads this, who might be struggling, who doesn't feel like it's ok to take medication to help you through something hard. For me it wasn't one thing, but unrelenting and ongoing pressure from 10 different avenues and it was really just more than I could handle. 

I am under no illusions my problems pale compared to so many people, but for me facing the reality of losing what I'd worked for 20+ years on, was terrifying, esp when I felt there wasn't much I could do. In the end it's ended up all being OK.

If you read this, there is no shame in asking for help, for taking help, even if that help is by way of medication. It was something I'd dreaded for so long and postponed so many times, when I could and should have just done it, I would have made months of my life so much better. The fear of being judged as weak, or bad or pathetic is scary, but in the first instance, go and see your GP. Explain your fears, get some reassurance.

I am glad I did. 

The way I look at medication is that, if you broke a bone, you get it looked at medically and if appropriate, it gets some sort of support in the form of a cast, pins, screws etc in order to help it heal.

The brain is no different and the various medication options can provide that support to help it heal.

Also, asking for help doesn't automatically mean that medication is the only course.  But the GP is always a good starting point for an initial diagnosis and/or referral.

networkn:

 

This is a scary thing to put in a public place:

 

This is a really brave post and I applaud you for it. Also for wanting to set an example for others.

Back in 2020 when the pandemic was still a big unknown, I went through a very anxious period and you made yourself available for me and gave me a lot of emotional support, as well as an offer of practical support if I needed it. That really helped to ease my insecurities and I haven’t forgotten it. Despite our political differences, I know from personal experience that you are a kind and generous person and if there is anything I can do to repay that kindness and generosity, just let me know. Stay strong.

geoffwnz:

 

The way I look at medication is that, if you broke a bone, you get it looked at medically and if appropriate, it gets some sort of support in the form of a cast, pins, screws etc in order to help it heal.

 

The brain is no different and the various medication options can provide that support to help it heal.

 

Also, asking for help doesn't automatically mean that medication is the only course.  But the GP is always a good starting point for an initial diagnosis and/or referral.

 

You are right of course, but there is the knowing it in theory and what your brain does to counteract that knowledge by putting doubts on top of it all. 

There is such a stigma (One I sadly may have been guilty of perpetuating in my past perhaps) of being strong no matter what and keeping things to yourself and whatever.

Rikkitic:

 

This is a really brave post and I applaud you for it. Also for wanting to set an example for others.

 

Back in 2020 when the pandemic was still a big unknown, I went through a very anxious period and you made yourself available for me and gave me a lot of emotional support, as well as an offer of practical support if I needed it. That really helped to ease my insecurities and I haven’t forgotten it. Despite our political differences, I know from personal experience that you are a kind and generous person and if there is anything I can do to repay that kindness and generosity, just let me know. Stay strong.

 

Thank you for the kind words, that made me really smile. I am really glad I could help. 

Without wantng to sound like I am blowing my own trumpet, I am I am known personally and professionally as a fixit guy. I am the guy you give your impossible challenge to and I work through it to find the solution, to go from that, to what I have been like in the last 12 months, has been humbling it say the least. It stole my confidence and eroded my self-belief, but it's coming back for which I am grateful for. 

Having communities around me that are constant, like GZ has been reassuring, even when I am disagreeing with someone, it's still there and a reminder that tomorrow the sun will come up. 

My mother had this great saying... This too will pass. 

networkn:

 

 

 

My mother had this great saying... This too will pass. 

 

 

 

I have found that attitude to be a great leveller in my life too, but it took me 50 years to take notice of it. I fully endorse seeking assistance, as one that has, belatedly, but better than never.

networkn:

 

This is a scary thing to put in a public place:..........

 

 

 

If you read this, there is no shame in asking for help, for taking help, even if that help is by way of medication. It was something I'd dreaded for so long and postponed so many times, when I could and should have just done it, I would have made months of my life so much better. The fear of being judged as weak, or bad or pathetic is scary, but in the first instance, go and see your GP. Explain your fears, get some reassurance.

 

I am glad I did. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is good that you have shared, as they say it is ok not to be ok. No one is judged for a Cold, Arthritis, Migraine or Alzheimers and mental health conditions are no different. Accepting and discussing is a big step forward and you have made a big step forward. 

Remember as you go forward it is ok to take a step back and pause, recovery is not a race. Take care

Rikkitic:

 

networkn:

 

This is a scary thing to put in a public place:

 

 

This is a really brave post and I applaud you for it. Also for wanting to set an example for others.

 

Back in 2020 when the pandemic was still a big unknown, I went through a very anxious period and you made yourself available for me and gave me a lot of emotional support, as well as an offer of practical support if I needed it. That really helped to ease my insecurities and I haven’t forgotten it. Despite our political differences, I know from personal experience that you are a kind and generous person and if there is anything I can do to repay that kindness and generosity, just let me know. Stay strong.

 

 

 

Andre reached out to me also a few years back, long PM. gave his mobile number.  I've been here a while, and I am fully aware of the personalities and qualities of many here, despite any differences we may have on some political topics 

networkn:

 

This is a scary thing to put in a public place: 

I'm glad you have @networkn There are probably more people on here who have been through similar, or a close family member has, but they haven't been brave enough to come out and say it - like me. We had an adult child who, during 2021, got deeply depressed. In fact I didn't think they were going to make it out the other side. It was hugely stressful for them, their siblings and us as parents because you feel so unable to help and have no idea what is happening inside their head.

However, they made it through and 18 months later they are a different person and yes medication does help. I'm glad that you were able to make changes that have helped you, plus you have the holiday of a lifetime to look forward to. My wife and I managed one of those in 2018 and loved every single moment of it. Despite lots of travel, we felt completely refreshed at the end of it and have so many great memories to look back on. I hope that will be your experience too.

Been struggling a bit with the uncertainty aspect of life atm. We are looking to move - our area has gotten drastically worse in the post-Covid area, partner can't take the stroller up to the shops and still feel safe. Deep in my bones I know this is almost the worst possible time to be considering moving (high interest rates and house prices haven't really fallen much yet) but we don't have a choice.

I'm going to have to grin and bear it but the reality is we've outgrown the house and we need to get pre-approval at the very least so we can be in a position to move if the opportunity presents itself. Maybe we can just lowball people and perhaps get lucky if someone needs to sell more than I need to buy.

I do hope you can find a solution that works for the three of you 

Not knowing your circumstances I can't comment on them, but if your work allows, you might want to consider the Good Life in the countryside or a small town. Not every place is without problems, but the right one can be exactly what your family needs, and even now you can still find great properties that would be unaffordable in big cities.