General Mental Health Thread

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#2678034 21-Mar-2021 17:42

It depends on you. That’s why this is a tricky business.

For example, I speak more to people here than I do in real life given I’m not working. Wife excepted of course. I’ll cheerfully go weeks without really speaking with anyone other than perhaps interaction in a shop.

I’ve always been that way so I don’t personally find it unusual although I’m aware on one level that it is.

MikeB4

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#2678217 22-Mar-2021 09:52

Having a great weekend then waking during the night and this morning in severe pain pushes ones mental health to the limit. Not feeling great today physically and mentally is probably an understatement. If I believe some of the post in another thread I am probably abusing it and probably need to be locked up to stop the end of days coming. No wonder so many keep it to themselves with disastrous results.

networkn

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#2678224 22-Mar-2021 09:57

Sleep and Excercise and being out of the house are now things I know, are directly tied to my state of mind. Seems straight forward, but as a young person a few hours a night was plenty, but as I am getting older, lack of sleep has had an extremely detrimental affect on my ability to handle stress.

MikeB4

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#2678231 22-Mar-2021 10:03

networkn:

Sleep and Excercise and being out of the house are now things I know, are directly tied to my state of mind. Seems straight forward, but as a young person a few hours a night was plenty, but as I am getting older, lack of sleep has had an extremely detrimental affect on my ability to handle stress.

Lack of sleep really impacts both physical and mental health. When I have been going through flare ups in my condition my wife always insists we go out even if it is for a drive somewhere, I love our rocky shoreline and being by the sea is my happy place. I find the winter a challenge but the decks we have built around our home allows me to get outside more in the winter.

MaxineN

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#2678247 22-Mar-2021 10:19

MikeB4:

After all the publicity concerning mental health It still has a stigma. It saddens me that there are those in society that still make it very difficult for folk to come forward and seek help. My personal experience is don’t ignore the signs and symptoms and please do not dismiss thoughts. Reach out talk about it and get help and don’t as I did allow yourself to get into a very dark place.

In my experience it's been down to the system and I've tried to get help dealing with some really bad trauma that happened in my life. I have been in a very dark place for a very long time and I was ignored by a lot of therapists and professionals. Because of the damage the trauma has done to my mental state I have a medical cert saying I'm not up for full time work at all and I should not be working for the next few years.

Sadly working was the escape for me but my last employer treated me like I wasn't human and gave very little care for the situation I was under and judged me.

Last year just after lockdown ended I finally got ACC to look at me and take it under a sensitive claim. I think the system is broken and ACC from what I've heard from others around me when it comes to mental health and trauma especially under sensitive claims, just don't care until you really push them.

Walking has helped. Learning how to manage diets and trying to stay social has helped, working on projects and having something to do(I'm always up for something new any time, I like obscure devices and I love IT and mobile networks and customer service/retail) I've got years of my life that I don't know if I'll ever repair or manage or not.

Thanks for making this thread, although it's really hard to write all of this down without breaking FUG(I almost did), expressing this has helped in some way in a sense that I hope that it helps someone else knowing that they're not alone.

Ramblings from a mysterious lady who's into tech. Warning I may often create zingers.

networkn

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#2738146 2-Jul-2021 23:04

Not sure where to put this, feels as good of a place as any.

Today we found out that our next door neighbours husband was killed in a traffic accident a few days ago. We didn't know it had happened at the time, she told us today. They are in their 80's and have been together since their 20's. They are a lovely couple who did stuff together and were enjoying their golden years despite slowly declining health. He would help her with her Gardening. She looks totally lost, just broken. She has family around her and of course we offered any and all help if she wants/needs it.

Life is so unfair sometimes. I mean, I understand life is finite, but to lose him like that, makes me angry at the world on her behalf.

I am just gutted.

psychrn

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#2738196 3-Jul-2021 00:02

Sorry I havnt seen this thread until now!!

You can possibly tell from my username that I am in the "Business"area of mental health for nigh on 40 years.

If I can be of any help just let me know-message me. I wont go into any "psychotherapy "type stuff for individuals but can help locate resources.

In fact there are so many resources out there that can be useful for folk going through difficult times.

Ill look at creating a document with useful links for Mental health resources. For instance Sir John Kirwan has several available.

https://www.houseofwellness.com.au/lifestyle/celebrities/sir-john-kirwan-mental-health-app

Helpful resources - Sir John Kirwan Foundation (jkfoundation.org.nz)

If I can be of help let me know

GZMCC. Lenovo Yoga C640. 8 gb Ram and 256Gb SSD, Cam Am Spyder 2016 F3 LTD. GoPro 5 Black, Samsung S22 Ultra, Huawei Watch D. Samsung S6 Lite Tablet, Amateur Radio Callsign ZL1CJH

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Trade NZ and US shares and funds with Sharesies (affiliate link).

networkn

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#2756864 8-Aug-2021 19:02

I am feeling a bit sorry for myself.

I finally this year, got back to Squash, my only physical exercise, after a long break away due to a knee injury. I've been doing much better, my fitness was improving, and I was climbing the ranks. I had a minor setback and went to a physio who prescribed me a gym program, which I have been doing religiously for the last 6 weeks. I feel stronger and fitter than I have been in a while. Last Wednesday night, 3 points into my first game, I blew my calf in what the doctor thinks is a moderate to serious partial tear. 8 weeks minimum she thinks, scans to follow. I am on crutches for a week or so. As if this wasn't bad enough, we were 3 days from leaving on a skiing trip to Queenstown with my wife and kids, something that has been in the planning for 9 months! I have insisted they go on without me, and I am geniuinely OK with them going without me, but still gutted I'll miss out. I am a snowboarder and switched to skiing so I could learn with the kids, and this was our first 'real' trip to snow with them on the snow skiing.

I am under no illusions that in the grand scheme of things, this is stupidly small compared to what other people deal with etc, but it still sucks.

Handle9

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#2756865 8-Aug-2021 19:13

networkn:

I am feeling a bit sorry for myself.

I finally this year, got back to Squash, my only physical exercise, after a long break away due to a knee injury. I've been doing much better, my fitness was improving, and I was climbing the ranks. I had a minor setback and went to a physio who prescribed me a gym program, which I have been doing religiously for the last 6 weeks. I feel stronger and fitter than I have been in a while. Last Wednesday night, 3 points into my first game, I blew my calf in what the doctor thinks is a moderate to serious partial tear. 8 weeks minimum she thinks, scans to follow. I am on crutches for a week or so. As if this wasn't bad enough, we were 3 days from leaving on a skiing trip to Queenstown with my wife and kids, something that has been in the planning for 9 months! I have insisted they go on without me, and I am geniuinely OK with them going without me, but still gutted I'll miss out. I am a snowboarder and switched to skiing so I could learn with the kids, and this was our first 'real' trip to snow with them on the snow skiing.

I am under no illusions that in the grand scheme of things, this is stupidly small compared to what other people deal with etc, but it still sucks.

That sucks, it's frustrating when you have done what seems to be the right thing and your body lets you down.

I hope you are able to recover, I've had similar problems with my achilles. Running is pretty much out the window for me which was something I really enjoyed.

Eva888

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#2756923 8-Aug-2021 23:22

Sorry to hear. That’s a real disappointment but as you say, it could be something worse. Maybe you can still go but as a spectator. Kids will be happy as long as someone is watching them perform and its better than staying home alone thinking. All the best.

networkn

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#2757002 9-Aug-2021 10:00

Eva888: Sorry to hear. That’s a real disappointment but as you say, it could be something worse. Maybe you can still go but as a spectator. Kids will be happy as long as someone is watching them perform and its better than staying home alone thinking. All the best.

Yup, I totally appreciate it's a pretty small thing in the grand scheme. Right now I am on crutches. QT on crutches isn't something I want to brave, my wife is there said things are slippery. One slip could take a somewhat moderate injury into a much worse territory, so I will stay home this time.

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#2758234 10-Aug-2021 21:48

My feeling on the area of mental health is that you have to workout what works for you and not worry about what other people think. As well as being prepared to change your plans if what you originally think would work for you turns out to not be the case.

Like I originally thought I wanted to live alone but I ended up having flatmates for various reasons and now I think it actually works much better for me and I don't plan to live alone again. - I think if more people felt comfortable with the idea of not having to live alone (outside of having a romantic partner) it could help quite a few people. I keep hearing stories about older people who are alone and feel isolated, I wonder how many of them might do better if they had a room mate.

I've been up and down over the years but I'm certainly doing better now I'm pushing myself to try new things and to meet new people.

alasta

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#2758310 11-Aug-2021 08:05

alavaliant: Like I originally thought I wanted to live alone but I ended up having flatmates for various reasons and now I think it actually works much better for me and I don't plan to live alone again. - I think if more people felt comfortable with the idea of not having to live alone (outside of having a romantic partner) it could help quite a few people. I keep hearing stories about older people who are alone and feel isolated, I wonder how many of them might do better if they had a room mate. I've been up and down over the years but I'm certainly doing better now I'm pushing myself to try new things and to meet new people.

I have lived alone for ten years and have accepted that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I never felt overly comfortable with flatmates when I was in my youth, and finding a romantic partner is not realistic for me for a number of reasons.

I used to rely on work for my daily social interaction, but it has become more difficult with the trend towards people working from home. I go into the office every day but there seem to be fewer and fewer people in the office for me to talk to. Sometimes I end up sitting with empty desks all around me!

alavaliant

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#2758354 11-Aug-2021 09:10

alasta:

I have lived alone for ten years and have accepted that this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I never felt overly comfortable with flatmates when I was in my youth, and finding a romantic partner is not realistic for me for a number of reasons.

I used to rely on work for my daily social interaction, but it has become more difficult with the trend towards people working from home. I go into the office every day but there seem to be fewer and fewer people in the office for me to talk to. Sometimes I end up sitting with empty desks all around me!

I can quite appreciate that. For a long time I thought romance for me again wasn't realistic. But I've actually started trying again recently and so far it seems to be going ok. So without knowing your situation in detail, all I can say is perhaps it's not as unrealistic as you think if you try to think positively about it.

I used to work at a company where I was the only person working at my desk while everybody else went out on site most of the day. It actually got quite depressing after a while. I'd really recommend trying to find other avenues to interact with people if you aren't getting enough. Like in my case I've been using meetup.com to find social groups that do things I enjoy (like board games) and that's given me more space to meet and talk to people.

networkn

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#2758363 11-Aug-2021 09:23

It is very hard finding friends the older you get I think. You don't really have the forced interactions of school (especially in a COVID work environment) and it's really scary putting yourself out there both romantically and otherwise. Avenues for potential social interactions are clubs, sports, sports clubs, etc. I found that about 25% of the difficultly last year when I couldn't play squash, was actually the lack of interaction with people who weren't in a very small bubble. Facebook Groups for things like Foodies, BBQ, and other interests tend to be fairly placid non-fractious environments too.

It's easy to type and much harder to do for real life, but a few years ago, after fighting crippingly shyness in groups, I was at an event, where I felt out of place, despite having paid to be there, and was in my room, determined to stay there except for the event forced activities. There was a pre dinner drinks introduction social thing happening. I was in my room and my heart was racing and I was feeling miserable. I am not sure what triggered it, but I decided that I wasn't going to remain trapped in my prison anymore. I left my room, got stuck at the lift, beside the lift at the bottom, and spent 20 minutes outside the ballroom trying to get my courage together. In the end I just opened the door, walked to the biggest group, targeted someone and walked over and said, hey I'm networkn, I'm here for the event, shook their hands, and talked about the weather for the day. I had a truly excellent time. I still have times when I struggle, but every time I overcome it, the next time comes easier. It comes from many factors. In my experience, it's the first sentence that is the hardest. Even writing that, made my heart race and me feel a bit anxious :)

Now, sometimes, when I see someone else, hiding in a corner, staring at their phone, looking anxious, I'll make a point of going over and introducing myself, and herding them to a group, introducing them.

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